The 80/20 Rule for a Chronically Ill Mum.

The 80/20 Rule for a Chronically Ill Mum

Last updated: March 2021

The day that your baby is born you are handed this beautiful blob of delicious smelling bliss and... a massive load of mummy guilt.

Mummy guilt is the universe's way of making sure you are always trying to do your best not to screw up your kids and just because you have a chronic illness the universe doesn't catch you a break.

Tired, stressed, and anxious

I struggle every single day with mummy guilt. I struggle every day with or without the guilt. Having Crohn's disease and every other disorder, issue and physical restraint is only the beginning. I'm tired, stressed, and anxious because life, in general, isn't smooth sailing and then you add on the pressures of chronic disease.

Having responsibilities to our families, husbands and our mortgages adds to the pressures of daily life. But I am here to give you a MASSIVE tip that has saved my life and potentially that of everyone else's when I'm stretched beyond and not being a very good mummy.

Its called the 80/20% Rule. No, I can't claim the genius of making it up but I'm going to share it all with you other stressed-out tired parents! Cause unfortunately, Crohn's doesn't discriminate and Daddies get it too.

So what is this 80/20 rule?

Think of it like this, 80% of the time I'm completely rocking this parenting gig. My kids are fed, bathed, clothed and have a roof over their head. I might even have played a game or 2 with them. Every night they're tucked into bed with a song and a kiss and are loved beyond measure.

And then there is the 20% of the time... And I am sucking at life. It's all too much. I've used too many spoons and I'm most likely in default of spoons from all the awesome parenting I've just done for the last 80% of the time.

Its during this time that my kids are fed spaghetti toasted sandwiches for dinner are only given one song at bedtime which has become about an hour earlier than normal so I don't have to deal with them anymore, or they are still up until 9pm because I just haven't had the strength to get up off the couch.

It's during this time that the kids watch TV all day long and I've loaded them with whatever doesn't require cooking. And it's during this time that I do it guilt free.

Guilt free?! Is that possible?! YES!!

Do you know why? Because without that 20% of crappy parenting my kids won't know how good they get it. ;P Because without that time I don't get any downtime and it switches from 20% to 80% and that's not good for anyone!

Enough of this superhero complex us parents put on ourselves and each other. I'm not always going to get it right and I'm going to screw it up but my kids won't remember that. They will probably think, how awesome is it that I got to do whatever I wanted for a day!! And they will love us regardless because that is what unconditional love is.

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