No One Ever Comments on Appearance

I recently had the pleasure of attending a conference in San Diego called Digestive Disease Week. I am part of the IBD Social Circle which is hosted by Janssen Biotech and comprised of patient advocates, GI’s and others in the field. They held a Summit which coincided with DDW, in case you were wondering how I was able to attend. ;)

As a side note, we aren’t even permitted to talk about specific medications so it is definitely not just a “pharma-sponsored event” if that is what any of you are thinking. I don’t say that in a critical manner either. I honestly would probably be thinking that if I didn’t know the author and/or never heard of the IBD Social Circle before.

I digress…

The three best parts about IBD conferences for me:

Patients have a voice

Knowing that actual patients are now having a voice in order to share what the inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) community thinks, feels and needs. I truly feel honored that people in the medical and pharmaceutical industry actually want to hear what I think.

Hope that large companies are working for us

While we hear a lot of negativity surrounding pharmaceutical companies and I know a lot of it is warranted, it does give me some hope that there are billion dollar companies working behind the scenes to help patients who suffer from Crohn’s Disease or ulcerative colitis. As said before, we aren’t even allowed to mention medication names so it is solely about discussing ways to help patients, like us. It is also nice to learn the new treatment options and upcoming research so I can share it with others. Plus, it gives me hope for current and future IBD patients.

Connections

Connecting in person with my patient advocate friends.

There are no comments about looking well or healthy

I want to focus on the third part of this article. More specifically, the fact that no one ever makes a comment about someone looking well or looking healthy. I personally never comment on a friend’s appearance unless it is something specific like “I love your hair like that” or “That is such a nice outfit.” I am absolutely sure NEVER to mention anything about weight or specific references to body types that could possibly change size. For example, complementing earrings is a good option given most people’s ears don’t change much with flare-ups, surgeries, and medications. :)

I really love knowing I don’t have to worry about getting comments geared toward my appearance when I am around fellow IBD and chronic illness patients. I even notice it in other conferences or in-person meetings I have that are with anyone plugged into the chronic, invisible illness world. It only triggered something (positive) in me this past trip that really made me want to bring it out into the light, and not just something that is sitting in my head.

You never know why someone looks the way they do

While I know the idea of complimenting someone will never go out of style, I do hope any mention of a person’s size does. The fact is, you never really know why someone looks the way they do. They could have lost weight due to a physical illness you know nothing about or from experiencing enormous emotional pain. Someone might have gained a significant amount of weight because of a medication they have to take. Or, he/she may be self-soothing with food in order to bury a traumatic experience.

We just don’t know!

So, why say something?

What do you think? Do you agree with me or not so much? It is totally okay if you don’t! I really do want to hear your take on this topic! Please feel free to share in the comments below.