Skip to Accessibility Tools Skip to Content Skip to Footer

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

It’s so easy for me to sit here looking back. I don’t have the waves of agony crashing over me, taking my breathe away and my ability to focus. I’m here on the other side now with my hand out to you, hoping that I can light that dark path that you might be on right now.

Having Crohn’s Disease is all-consuming.

It hurts from your hair follicles down to your toes. You only get approximately 30-40 seconds of relief after going to the toilet for an hour just to feel that poison consuming your already ravaged body. Some days it’s so normal you don’t see the big deal in everyone else’s eyes.

Surgery brings you this weird sense of excitement, because hell anything is better than this “life” you’re currently living right? But it also brings fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the impact that this tiny little bag will have on every. single. part. of. your. life. How will this new “baggage” define you? Will you be defined by it? Maybe you will, maybe you won’t.

What will define you are the steps YOU take in your ownership of your life. YOU can let it all swallow you up, but you really shouldn’t! Don’t you already see how absolutely freaking amazing you are? I don’t even know you but I know your story. I know your life. I’ve lived that life.

What I can’t give you is all the answers.

You get to find them out yourself. Sorry! ;P I can tell you what has helped me. Its the ‘C’ word… Counseling.

Now before you say, yes but I’ve spoken to someone before and they were a jerk – probably totally were, BUT!!!! A counsellor is completely unique. You need to think of yourself and cinderella and find your glass slipper that is the PERFECT counsellor for you!!! Honestly, please take that one tip very seriously. You may have to kiss a few counsellor frogs before you find the right one!

The thing I found the hardest was finding someone who knew how to provide support to someone with a serious health issue. I did and he was also someone I knew very well.

Thankfully the support I have received wasn’t dismissive.

He couldn’t give me a cure, he couldn’t give me the answers I was seeking but he helped me find my own strength to go out there and know my worth. He gave me the stepping stones to be able to one by one remove all the toxic people from my life and a lot of the stressors.

It is so important to have valuable people in your circle. It’s important to remove those who bring you down. No one needs that and you don’t need or owe them anything.

Counseling has also helped my relationship with my husband after my second surgery. The pressure of a new family, new relationship and then add a significant health issue is overwhelming and it’s lucky it didn’t break us. We went and saw a counsellor together and I can honestly say it is the most significant step. It’s not shameful.

I got your backSo if you need to do it quietly and by yourself, go and ask for help.

Don’t be afraid to ask for someone else’s help if you need it and don’t be afraid to find someone else if your counsellor isn’t working for you. At no point will you ever owe that person anything. Find your perfect fit.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • thedancingcrohnie moderator
    1 year ago

    Thank you for writing this. I have been wanting to see a therapist for my IBD for quite some time. I was diagnosed 7 years ago, and honestly, the mental aspect of IBD is just as debilitating as the physical.

    Great tip for suggesting to continue looking until you find the “right fit” in a therapist. I will keep that in mind!

    Always dancing,
    Elizabeth (team member)

  • Julie Marie Palumbo moderator
    1 year ago

    I COMPLETELY agree!! Seeing a therapist was one of the best decisions I have ever made. These diseases do not only affect us physically, but mentally, as well. It is just as important to be mentally and emotionally healthy as physically healthy especially when facing major procedures and surgeries.

    I actually began seeing my therapist just before my surgery because I truly felt like a shell of myself and not the same person I once was. She was of such help that I decided to continue seeing her, and now 4 years later, I still have sessions with her once a month.

    It is great having an unbiased ear listen and offer valuable advice that our friends and family are unable to provide. Having a therapist plays just as big of a part in my overall health in wellness as my Stelara!

    ( Team Member)

  • Krystal Miller author
    1 year ago

    Well done! Im a huge advocate and hope that speaking so honestly about it the further stigma will disappear too! 🙂

  • Poll