7 Awkward Moments When Using a Public Bathroom

Bathroom. Toilet. Restroom. Loo (as us Brits are prone to calling it). Whichever phrase you prefer to use, there's no getting around that using one in public is AWKWARD! I'd like to say that over the years I've evolved into not caring about this kind of thing but I am sorry; I still hate it.

My most cringe-worthy bathroom encounters...

In recognition of those 'wish the ground would swallow me up hole' moments, I thought I'd share some of my most cringe-worthy bathroom encounters...

1. When you pretend to be casual waiting in the queue
There are three people in front of you and whilst everyone else is checking their phone and casually doing their make-up in the mirror; you feel like your insides are about to give way at any moment. But hey, our illness is invisible, so we just go into: 'Nothing to see here folks! I'm definitely not clenching my bum cheeks together to stop myself from going!'mode.

2. When you arrive in the toilet and there's no toilet roll
What do you do? You've already committed to that toilet and just as you feel relieved to have made it- you suddenly realize. But leaving to seek out another toilet puts you to the back of the queue. (And also makes you look a bit odd!) This will only happen the once before you always make sure you have a wad of tissue paper before leaving the house.

3. When it goes very quiet
It always happens. There's plenty of noise whilst queuing up but all of a sudden when it's your turn to go, complete silence descends on the stalls. Please flush the chain or make a noise somebody to distract everyone! Anybody?

4. The 'I'm just about to leave and now I suddenly need it again.'
If you're on the outside of a bathroom door, you'll know just how exciting it is when you finally hear that flush-it means the person using it is just about to exit.

But what about when you flush, gather your things, go to turn the bolt and suddenly the urge strikes again. Do you risk simply shut the door and start again or do you hope it goes away?

5. It won't flush!
I don't think I need to explain this one, do I? It's pretty much the worst scenario for any toilet-goer, but when you combine it with being a Crohn's patient it takes on a whole other level.

6. When you can't stop wiping
I've written before about living with a fistula and let me tell you: once you've had one of those things, you are super-paranoid about cleaning after every bowel movement. I'd be pushed to think of something nicer than a hot bath after needing the toilet but public bathrooms offer no such privilege. So you just can't. stop. wiping. And still, it doesn't seem clean!

7. The exit
The exit is definitely made worse when appearing in combination with number 5. (We've all straight up abandoned a toilet when we know it just won't flush!) But by itself, it can be pretty awkward-especially when you know what you left behind doesn't exactly smell pleasant.

How many of these scenarios do you recognize?