Life is Still Beautiful With Crohn’s

I realize this can be a loaded phrase, and it’s okay to disagree with me, but I am just sharing my opinion: I think despite being diagnosed with the horrid disease that is Crohn’s, life is still beautiful.

Yes, I truly feel this way and I won’t let anyone sway my stance. Life is beautiful. It is equally unfair and plagued with hardship, but even with that aspect, I choose to see its beauty.

The darkest time in my Crohn's journey

There was a time, and only once in my Crohn’s journey, where I truly was afraid of dying from this illness. I was in a horrific flare that wouldn’t let up. I was weighing 81 pounds (and I am 5’6 just for perspective), and I truly believed if I crept into weighing in the 70s I could possibly see death in the near future.

It was the scariest time for me. I was struggling with major depression, as I was in my late 20s and would get out of breath walking to the restroom. I couldn’t go upstairs. I had fevers every day and night, horrific pain, non-stop diarrhea and vomiting – I was bedridden for months and months.  I couldn’t believe that my life had come to this. 

Whenever I think back to those times, I get the chills.

So grateful for where I am today

Fast forward to today. I am light years away from where I used to be. Although I am not in remission, and still deal with moderate symptoms, I am functioning and able to work and feel like a relatively normal human being. And looking back at those scary moments of my diagnosis, I can’t believe my body pulled through and got out of it. I mean, I was so weak, I remember I couldn’t carry a heavy book on my own.

But that is life. I have come to realize that life owes me nothing. Life is unfair. Life is unpredictable. And yes, I am human and have days where I say: Why me?! Why did I have to be diagnosed with something so horrible?

Choosing a beautiful life

But for the most part, I choose to see the beauty in life daily. I choose to remain positive. I choose to think that one day in the future I will be in remission. That I will feel better than I even feel today.  I choose to visualize a life that is beautiful. I just choose to see the good.

The keyword here is choose. Life will be what we choose it to be.

Keeping hope amid Crohn's struggles

And to those reading this while in bed, struggling to even walk to the bathroom, wondering if you will ever get out of the ditch you are in... I’m here as an example, letting you know that it is possible.  Your days can get better. You will be strong again. There is always hope. So don’t fall into the trap of losing hope. Ever.

So what will you choose today? Will you choose to see the good beyond the bad, or will you allow the bad to seep in and engulf you? Share below, let’s chat.