You Can't Cheat IBD

One of the worst parts of living with inflammatory bowel disease has to be that there is no way out. There's no way to cheat. There's no way to lie.

You have IBD and even when you're in remission, you're forced to live with the condition and the wonder and worry of your next flare.

Sometimes I wish there was a way out

Honestly, if I had the option, I don't think I'd completely give up my journey with my condition. Don't get me wrong, it was extremely hard. I don't wish that hard ache and suffering on my worst enemy.

The indescribable pain. The joys of starting a new medication and the pain of failing it. The disappointment in yourself. In your body. The constant fear of the next flare.

The struggle to do everyday activities. The burden of constantly breaking plans. IBD is not for the weak. It forces you to be strong, even when you don't want to.

So no, I wouldn't get rid of my story. It's mine. It's already taught me so many lessons. Molded me as a person. I wouldn't give up something that's become such a huge part of my life. I just wish I had the option.

I wish I had the option to be in remission, and not worry. I wish I had the option go a day without seeing the destruction my condition has caused. I wish I had the option to cheat IBD, even if only for a moment.

Crohn's and UC are not part-time

I don't have the luxury of living with my condition part-time. I don't have the option of choosing when, or if my biologic will work. When my immune system will do its job instead of overreacting. *That's a little autoimmune humor there.*

There's no way for me to decide when I live with my condition or not, but there is a way for me to decide to live. A while ago I promised myself I would no longer allow my condition to prevent me from doing the things I love. From being near the people I love.

Although I can't cheat IBD, I won't allow IBD to cheat me

I won't allow my condition to take away priceless moments and memories because of what it is. I realize my condition may cause me to do things differently. I need different things, certain things may take more time or effort than it would for a "healthy" person, but that's not an excuse for me not to try.

For a very long time, my condition controlled everything about me. From what I ate, or didn't eat. To when and if I worked. For how long. Not anymore.

Well, honestly, some of that may not change overnight. Truth is, my condition still will have an impact on my life. It always will. But I'm not giving it control anymore. If I'm passionate about doing something and I'm not well enough to do it on Monday, I know there will always be Tuesday.

If a medication fails me, I'm no longer wasting my time in isolation or a world of sadness, no. My condition is at no fault of my own, but I'm making it my mission to use these experiences to empower me and fuel my passions, not discourage them.