Crohn’s Friends
Today I’m going to discuss building friendships with other IBD sufferers. This is so important. Likeminded patients can keep you grounded. Provide perspective. Offer you a sympathetic audience. I am friends with a few sufferers of IBD and our discussions about our condition have really helped me in a myriad of ways.
Doctor recommendations from friends
For example, I have a friend with ulcerative colitis. When my gastroenterologist, who I’d been with for over fifteen years, was moving hospitals, I needed to find a new doctor. This friend of mine, with UC, suggested another doctor, insisting he provides lots of time and attention. I took his advice, visited this doctor, and was pleasantly surprised. For the last two years, I’ve been treated by this new doctor and have been very happy with the results.
How to meet others with Crohn's or UC
Some may find it difficult to make friendships with other sufferers. For those in this situation, consider Facebook groups. I am in a variety of IBD-related Facebook groups and these have been really helpful in providing information I might not have had about my condition.
Another way to make friends is to volunteer for organizations such as the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation. I’ve been involved with the CCF for many years, mostly in terms of fundraising, and was lucky enough to be granted the Mission Award by them this fall. This involvement not only makes me feel I’m giving back, but it is a chance to meet other sufferers and keep up to date on what is going on in the IBD world.
Finally, I benefit greatly from my friendship with my younger brother, Jon, who has Crohn’s. We talk about our symptoms together. We send each other research studies. We’ve even worked together on fundraising. Basically, we try to make sure we are both as healthy and in good spirits as possible.
As this close relationship formed, and these talks about our illness ensued, a second brother, Jason, who never had digestive issues, used to snicker. He was really skeptical about the way we made this condition such a big emphasis in our lives.
He also thought I could have done more to fight it. For example, when I’d describe my symptoms, he’d think it was caused by stress. He’d further suggest I should watch my diet better. Moreover, it was difficult for him to grasp that even if I took incredible care of myself, and did everything right, I could still get very ill. Essentially, then, he didn’t grasp the severity of the condition or seem all that sympathetic.
My brother did not understand Crohn's until he was diagnosed
That all changed when Jason got Crohn’s disease. He suddenly realized how bad it can be. He tried to control his own stress and diet to no avail. Instead of seeming at the helm, a type-A personality, he suddenly was reaching out to me for help. It was shocking and sad, but I was glad to be of some help.
Fortunately, he’s doing better now on a biologic. But his attitude has definitely shifted drastically. He knows how serious Crohn’s is—doesn’t blame stress or diet—and is active in fundraising and outreach.
My point being, he only understood Crohn’s, and how debilitating it can be when he suffered from it. The same holds true for many others. The best listeners, the individuals who most understand our condition, are quite often fellow sufferers. This is precisely why we need Crohn’s friends.
Feeling understood by friends with IBD
It is Crohn’s friends, perhaps best of all, that can make us feel understood. They can give us a sense, too, that we have a tribe and that we belong. Finally, Crohn’s friends can inspire us and remind us of how much—in spite of a debilitating illness—we can still accomplish.
Thank you for reading this post. As always, if you want to comment or message me about this post, I’d be happy to discuss these concepts further. I wish all of you health, happiness, and a network of friends that support you.
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