Dear Doctor

Dear Doctor,

I know that you have learned or even specialized in my disease. You have even helped a lot of people along the way. You've saved lives and impacted many, including their families. I am grateful for every moment in your life that has led you to be here reading this today.

Remembering how we started this journey

Some days we need a little help reminding us why we started this journey in the first place. We may need some help reminding us of both mine and your humanity, our vulnerability, and our mutual goals. I know that your life exists beyond our appointments and my medical treatment. You need to continue to keep going when there is not enough reward, but this is my life in your office and outside of it.

You see, I need to remind you that in the depths of my disease, illness, and symptoms, I may not be my best advocate. I may not be able to express myself as well as I'd like.

Show me empathy and understanding

So please ask me beyond the words I tell you, respectfully and kindly. Show me that you care enough to get the whole picture and believe in me and my story. Show me empathy and openness even though I know I'm not your first or last patient today; because I'm here laying it all bare for YOU.

We both want me to achieve remission

Please also remember that it is not you against me, nor is it a dictatorship. I am here even when I am too sick to be, laying my life in your hands in hopes that you will help guide me along this torturous journey. I want the same goal as you; remission.

Stubbornness, refusals, riskiness, eating and drinking all the wrong things is my way of taking some of the control back into my life. Living like this feels like everything is spiraling out of control and I have no choices or freedom of my own. It's probably going to make your efforts in supporting me harder on some days, but just know that it won't always be like this. I'm hurting physically, emotionally, and mentally. Some days it's the only thing I can do to feel a sense of "normal".

On those days that you are losing why you started this journey in the first place, remember my words today.

I am sick and you make a large impact on my health

Your time, respect, and patience make more of an impact on my health than you know. It means that I come into my appointments because I know we are on the same page and I will be heard. I'll come to my appointments when I am really too sick too because I know you are doing your best and I am too. I will come to my appointments because no one else but you really knows and understands the significance of this disease more than you; you are my safe place.

Thank you for walking with me on this journey. Thank you for the efforts you put in, even when it's futile. Every moment is appreciated even when I can't or don't say thank you enough.

Together as a team, we can save my life.

Love,

Krystal