The Fear of Passing CD On
Both pregnancies were completely different. With my son I had been in remission for 5 years and wasnt on any medications during my pregnancy however during my pregnancy my Crohns did return and that along with the stretching of my stoma caused my bowel to perforate. This wasnt picked up until after he was born. My body took a major hit and I almost died with a 6 month old baby.
During my pregnancy with my son, I wasn't monitored and the end result was caused by a combination of me being too exhausted to fight the doctors who thought they were right and Doctors who were VERY wrong and mismanaged my care. Luckily I survived.
My pregnancy with my daughter was completely different!
We had moved interstate and now had a combination of exceptional care from Obstetricians, Gastroenterologist, Colorectal Surgeons and Stomal Therapist. They all worked closely WITH me and did not remove me or my wishes from the occasion. I was completely supported and monitored as requested and we all agreed as a preventative I would continue my medication during my pregnancy.
I had a very successful, amazing, gentle and loving birth with my daughter with no interventions or health issues during or after!
So with 2 very different pregnancies and 2 very different children I see huge differences to them in regards to their health.
My son has an iron gut! He suffered terribly with ear infections for the first year of his life during teething and general colds from being in childcare. Now at the age of 5, he has been sick once in 4 years with a 24hr gastro bug and that is it! Nothing keeps that boy down and he has the best immune system!
My daughter, although still young is still getting ear infection after another and colds that won't quit. Currently she has a throat and ear infection - again. She also has a milk protein allergy to her formula. Oh and was born with a congenital cataract. Maybe its because I'm currently living her sicknesses, but it feels like she is my sick baby and I'm scared.
When we switched her day feeds to formula her bowel movements became so loose I was worried.
I tried to put it down to adapting her gut as she was still breastfed but I eventually was worried about how many poos a day shed have and took her to the doctors. Luckily he settled my fear of her having Crohns as a baby to it being just an allergy! Hopefully one she will grow out of.
Although my daughter seems to need my watchful eye on her, I still watch my son carefully. Although he is always well I don't want to miss something while I'm distracted by my daughter!
Every distended bowel, every sensitivities, every loose bowel movements, every temperature they get I instantly feel a silent panic and guilt. I am so afraid of them suffering as I did.
I decided before having children that I still wanted them despite the split medical opinions of if Crohn's Disease is hereditary or not. Generally it effects teenagers and I'm silently saying a prayer that a cure is found before they reach that age.
At the end of the day however, I will be there to monitor them along the way. They will not suffer for the extended period of time that I did or even alone. They will have their mama who has been there and knows how to be their warrior when they can't. I wouldn't change my decisions or give them back to save their unknown futures. But I will be there for their futures, fighting for them every step of the way!
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