Feeling Inadequate While Suffering With Crohn’s

Currently, my boyfriend and I are renovating an apartment and the plan is to move into this apartment once it is completed. Thankfully we have our own place as we renovate, so we don’t have to live in the construction, but nonetheless, it is a stressful process.

Ironically, it's mostly stressful because I am hard on myself. As we all know, Crohn’s is complicated. Not only are we constantly to and from the washroom, but there is also a host of other symptoms that overtake you. A huge culprit for me at the moment is urgency and fatigue.

With Crohn's, toilets are a big part of life!

The apartment that is being renovated is about 20-25 minutes from our current home, depending on traffic. Not only that, but we are at the moment where the entire place is gutted and plumbing and electrical are just about finished. This is super exciting, as now all the fun stuff commences – the cosmetic phase.

But, the point I am getting to is that up until now for some months there have been no toilets in our apartment, as it has been totally gutted. I am so thankful that this place has two bathrooms and I cannot wait to upgrade to that, as right now my boyfriend and I share one bathroom – bless his heart.  But the issue is that I have not been able to be of much help due to my anxiety and urgency issues and I feel horrible about it.

No toilet access = I can't be there

The idea of going to the apartment, which is a bit of a lengthy drive and does not have a bathroom to use at all, has completely taken me out of the equation. I just can’t bear to be there with the electrician, or plumber, or whoever else, and then suddenly have the urge to go. 

Then what? Where would I go? In a trashcan like I have before? But then the smell is much more noticeable and then how do I explain spending so much time in a bathroom with no toilet? It’s just not going to work for me. I’m tired of having to deal with bowel issues in front of strangers.

Guilt and feeling inadequate with Crohn's

Thankfully, my boyfriend is the most amazing and supportive person. He understands completely and has basically carried most of the work so far in this renovation. The guilt I have of that is strong and heavy. I sometimes can’t believe that this diagnosis can keep me from doing things like being there for my boyfriend.

But, I have to remain focused and positive. It is what it is. I can’t help right now, but the moment those toilets get installed, I will be back in the game and able to deal with sub-contractors and making sure things go smoothly.

How about you? Have you had this happen before, where due to certain variables, you have to back out in helping someone due to your Crohn’s symptoms? Do you also feel guilty and inadequate? If so, how did you overcome and deal with it? Share below, we love to hear from you.