Finding Joy

Have you ever noticed people will often try to offer solutions? Such as you just need something to occupy you or you just need a hobby or something that will bring you joy. Geez, Krystal. Didn't you know it was that easy?!

Didn't you know that all you have to do is find something that brings you joy? Oh, you are such a funny person! Sure thing. I'll find that in-between trying not to poop myself and trying not to fall asleep. *throws arms up in the air!*

Well-intentioned people can be so frustrating

Well-intentioned people frustrate the heck out of me! I know I am guilty of it too. I want to kick myself every single time I do it. Generally, I try to backtrack by asking my intended what they actually need from me or apologize for being so self-indulgent.

It is true though. Damn, those well-intended people! I want to kick myself for even saying it out loud - jokes. However, it is not as simple as they at times lay it out to be.

It's difficult to find joy

Finding joy when there is no time to find joy is essentially "Mission Impossible", but hey, if couch jumping (now potentially life choice regretting) what-his-name can manage it, surely we can?! Rhetorical question.

Finding joy doesn't come at the same speed, nor the same awareness that we'd like to hope, but the outcome remains the same. The gist remains the same. Joy perpetuates joy.

When the fight seems insurmountable

Joy provides a momentum through the moments over total incapacitation. That doesn't mean that you can't do those things that bring you joy during those times, but it helps you keep moving/fighting towards that feeling. It can give you a reason to keep going when the fight feels insurmountable.

Okay, now get to the point right? Feels like a big freaking joke doesn't it?

First of all, one thing you need to let go of is the amount of time you need to give something to make that joy feel successful. You will also need to let go of what you've been told joy should feel like.

I have things that make me feel completely arrogant and I get so much guilt but also joy from it. I also have music. Music helps me fade into myself. I don't sing out loud but lose myself in the beat and the words.

Keep doing what makes you smile as often as you can

There are scripts taught throughout life; what is valuable and how valuable we become from them. Pause, Breathe. What's in front of you now that makes you smile? Keep doing that as often as you can. It doesn't matter if its not enough. Keep that feeling in your mind and fight to be able to capture that again. It won't dismiss the agony you are in right now. You're allowed to be miserable too. You've earned it.