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Focusing on the comeback, rather than the setback.

Focusing on the comeback, rather than the setback

I recently came across a post on Instagram that had the quote, “The comeback is always stronger than than the setback.” How empowering is that? It struck me because when we are flaring, the setback seems suffocating. The setback feels like a ton of bricks that is hard to get on top of. The setback hurts physically, emotionally and mentally. The setback can feel incredibly overwhelming. The wheels start turning in our head and we know what that setback entails. That drive to the hospital is hard to put into words. It feels like failure.

I’m not flaring now, I’m actually in “remission”… but those setbacks seems so fresh, regardless of the fact that I’ve managed to stay out of the hospital the last 2.5 years. If I think about it, I can immediately feel myself doubled over in pain, blacking out on the bathroom floor in a grocery store, desperately waiting for my husband to save me and get me to the ER. If I think about it, I can picture myself on my knees in my kitchen, throwing up in a bucket in front of my mother in law. If I think about it, I can go back to my very first colonoscopy, rocking in pain on the toilet in the hospital, hours after being told at age 21 that I had a chronic illness, for which there was no cure.

Focusing on the positive…

It’s easy for us all to go back and dwell on what can happen. How bad it can get. How tough those terrible days are. Instead of focusing on those terrible moments, I choose to focus on the comeback. The comeback is the best part of all. The comeback is empowering. It’s incredible, really. Think how how weak and sick you’ve been and how you’ve overcome. There’s a street in my neighborhood, and in the days after my bowel resection surgery, my husband would hold my hand and we’d take a few steps. The first few days, I was able to make it maybe 20-30 steps. By two weeks, I was able to walk around the block. Each week, that walk got longer and longer. Now, when I push my son in the stroller, those moments still play out in my head, and I realize how far I’ve come. I think about crossing the finish line of a half marathon. Being pregnant. Mentally giving myself injections with a baby kicking me in my belly. Having a baby. Becoming a mom. Now that’s a comeback. Showing my body that despite all the pain it’s brought on, it’s brought life into this world. Now that’s bad ass.

We are all bad [email protected]*es

If we all can focus on the comebacks, we’ll quickly come to realize we are all bad asses. Pardon my french, but it’s true. We may have bad asses, but we are bad asses. You must give yourself credit for all of the things–big and small. Some days, it’s simply getting out of bed, getting dressed and facing the day. Other days–it’s the big things. It’s the major milestones in life that make you who you are. It’s the moments that define your character. Each time I face a flare up or a setback, now i have the perspective to know this too shall pass. This is going to be rough, but my comeback is going to make it all ok. The temporary struggle gives you the opportunity and the chance to show yourself and others exactly what you are made of. Don’t let the worry and the stress of your past, stifle you from your full potential. Take that comeback head on. Eye on the prize. And know in those dark moments you’ll reach the better days, time and time again.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • thedancingcrohnie moderator
    9 months ago

    Such a great read and important message.

    I know I definitely have moments where I forget how far I’ve come. If I have a set back, my mind focuses on it and I get frustrated. But it is so important to turn our focus on our comebacks, and when you do, you realize how much of a bad ass you truly are!

    We are inspiring. We are strong. We are warriors!

    Always dancing,
    Elizabeth (team member)

  • hopeforme
    1 year ago

    Wow you are my hero your story very familliar running to the washroom throwing up passing out on the floor in the washroom waking up hours later vommit stuck to your face blood seeping out of your colon.When I get to the ER im basically passed over by other patients mostly drug overdoses ususlly 7 or hours wait just to see a doctor my last visit to er i ripped out my IV and took a taxi home.My main priority is to get stable enough to go back to work if I lose my job i loose my benefits that means no remicade also if I loose my job ill lose my house and my vehicle becuse i need my job for my mortgage.I do feal good that i can survive this hell i go thru i suffer alone nobody is here than god to witness this i wudnt want my family to see my like this.Anyways to all the survivers im proud of you and just know this your not alone.

  • Sickforever
    1 year ago

    Great article, thanks for sharing !!!

  • Natalie Hayden moderator author
    1 year ago

    So glad you enjoyed my article! Thanks for reading!

  • Lisa
    1 year ago

    Thank you for this article. I really needed to see it! We are BadA**** and it will get better! ♥️

  • Natalie Hayden moderator author
    1 year ago

    Aww good! We sure are…as we ease into our illnesses and as time goes on, coping and dealing with everything definitely evolves. Hope you are having a feel good day!

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