How My Ulcerative Colitis Experience Makes Me A Better Doctor

Starting my first year as an internal medicine resident has been a strange transition — shifting my role from patient to provider. I certainly haven't been a perfect patient since my ulcerative colitis diagnosis ten years ago. To expect perfection from my patients would be hypocritical.

I get what it's like to not be a "perfect patient"

I've skipped medication doses, sometimes forgetting, other times simply not feeling like it. Caring for patients with extensive medication lists now, I understand how overwhelming it can be. If I was in their shoes, remembering everything would be a struggle, potentially leading to feeling overwhelmed and avoidance. But I'm not them, and that's a key distinction I've learned in my first year.

Having a patient perspective is invaluable, and I appreciate that about my role. However, I can't project my own experiences onto patients and expect them to react the same way I would.

Safe spaces to share are important

This lesson was reinforced during my time as a counselor at Camp Oasis, a summer camp for children with Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis. Here, we were trained as counselors on how to facilitate cabin chats for campers. A key lesson was to avoid sharing "war stories". If someone shared their experience, our job was to listen, not to one-up or diminish their experience with our own. Sharing and advocating are important, but creating a safe space for others is crucial.

When diagnosis feels like a burden

My own journey with ulcerative colitis has instilled this principle in me. As a naturally introverted person, I tend to listen more than I speak. I'm genuinely interested in hearing other people's stories and learning how their unique experiences have shaped them. Illness, of course, can be profoundly shaping.

I remember when I was first diagnosed, I didn't want anyone to know. It felt like a burden I wanted to forget. Over time, I became more comfortable talking about it and wanted to help others advocate for themselves.

Meeting people where they are

This year in medicine has taught me that while advocacy is valuable, meeting people where they are, at their strengths, is essential. I'm happy to share my experiences with UC with patients when appropriate, but it's their time to express themselves.

I've found peace with my own journey with this disease, thanks to countless doctors, nurses, dietitians, family, and friends, among others. Now, I'm eager to offer that same support and compassion to my patients.

Helping patients find their strength

Through all of this, I'm realizing I don't have to wear just one hat—patient or physician. I can wear both. My experiences with ulcerative colitis have led me to where I am today, and they continue to guide me toward the kind of doctor I want to be: one who can make a positive impact on someone's day, empower them to navigate their own health journey, and help them become their own best advocate.

I want to be the kind of doctor who listens, who understands, and who helps patients find their own strength and resilience in the face of illness. I am grateful for every experience, both as a patient and as a physician, that brings me closer to that goal.