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Help Is On The Way

Recently I was listening to a sermon. It spoke volumes to me. It was about help. I personally have a very hard time asking for help. I hate it to be honest. It drives me insane not being able to do or provide for myself. I was raised by very prideful people. I don’t mean this in a bad way. I actually mean it in a good way, to be honest.

My immediate family had so much pride, they would do anything to avoid needing something from someone else. My grandmother worked over time constantly just to take care of my sister and I. My grandad would do manual labor he knew the doctor would not approve of with his condition and heart issues. My family wasn’t in the best of health, but they did what they had to do. Or what they felt they had to do rather. For a while I was the same way.

I hated asking for help

After being diagnosed with IBD, it was hard for me to avoid asking for help, but for the most part, I did. The few times I did ask for help, I saw the way people looked at me. That sad puppy dog looks they had in their eyes. As if they felt bad for me. The twenty-something-year-old girl with all the meds, issues, and surgeries. I hated being seen like that.


As I was listening to this podcast this morning I asked myself, “why?” Why is it that it pains me so much to ask for help? Sure, people did look at me differently. But they had a right to. They were used to seeing independent Shawn. It’s an adjustment. My life was extremely hard as a patient, but I can’t imagine what my friends and family experienced as caregivers. I can’t begin to think of all of the sleepless nights my grandparents faced, worried if I would make it to the next morning. How selfish of me to actually be angry with people for caring for and about me?

Help is on the way

Don’t be like me. Ask for help. I look back now and think of all of the moments in my life that could have been easier if I would have just asked. If I would have just voiced my concerns to someone. I didn’t have to face my trials alone. I chose to. A lot of us are choosing to face battles alone that are designed for a team. I know what it’s like to be fully independent, on the other hand, I also know what it’s like to fully depend on someone else for everything. We hate being burdens, but that’s the thing, we’re not.

You’re not a burden on the people who love you

If you need something, ask. Your help is on the way, but it can only reach you if you’re open to receiving it. Love yourself enough to know when it’s time to ask for help and let others in.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • thedancingcrohnie moderator
    9 months ago

    Such a powerful point!

    “A lot of us are choosing to face battles alone that are designed for a team.”

    IBD is designed for a team! I too struggled so much with asking for help, I still do. But we can’t do this alone. And the longer we go without asking help, the more we suffer.

    Thank you for sharing!

    Always dancing,
    Elizabeth (team member)

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