My Favorite Day

My favorite day is a day some would consider the most difficult. Some would honestly dread my favorite day, but I love it. My favorite day is *drum roll please* injection day! To a "normal" or "healthy person," this day might come with great aggravation or sadness. They may be shocked or overwhelmed by the whole process, but not me.

My favorite day is injection day

Injection day is my favorite day because I know what it’s like to go without the life-saving medications I need. It’s my favorite because although the needle hurts, the pain of life with active inflammation is much, much worse. So I am grateful. For every stick, prick, and poke. I am grateful for every nasty pill and sharps container. I am grateful for the things people often take for granted or don’t think about at all.

I tell myself this: On the days I inject my $20,000 medication, I could approach it from 1 of 2 ways.

I could be angry on injection day

Frustrated with the process. Mad at my body. Cursing my life. Myself. My God and everything in between.

I choose to appreciate the injection days

Appreciating my low to no out-of-pocket cost for the drug in comparison to what I could have paid. Appreciating the groundbreaking research that took place in order for this drug to come to the market at all. Appreciation of my doctor and amazing healthcare and healthcare professionals who have arranged my access to this medication. Appreciation of how far I’ve come because of this drug.

My medications give me control over my life

My favorite day is my favorite for a reason. As someone who’s lost so much time and money to a condition so out of my control, I am so appreciative of anything and everything that gives me at least a portion of the control over my life back.

My favorite day is hard.

It’s hard on me and those around me. It’s hard on my family, even friends. No one wants to see me in such a vulnerable state. No one wants me to need any medication, so of course, watching me inject this into my body is difficult on them. And of course, I hate being the reason why so many of them hurt. I know it hurts them to walk through this condition by my side. I know with every medication they are only reminded of the last and possibly the one before that.

Medication injection day is necessary

And until it’s not... Until there is a cure or a day that I don’t absolutely need my favorite day... It will remain the same. I will continue to remind myself of the importance of my medication, even when others hurt for me – or worse – shame me for it. I will continue to remain grateful and remind myself of what life was before my favorite day and how many times I prayed for the days I am currently living. This is not to pretend as if every day is a breeze, because it’s not. It gets difficult and I struggle at times, but I refuse to allow myself to stay down.

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