Steps to Loving Yourself More

I recently wrote an article about the one relationship that is affected most by IBD, and that is the relationship we have with ourselves...

Living with Crohn's or colitis

Between constant battles with fatigue and physical pain, coupled with anxiety and depression, it is totally understandable why anyone living with this disease would want to break up with their bodies ASAP and block their phone number permanently.

Unfortunately, we cannot leave our bodies for a better model, so the only thing we can do is work on the relationship we have with ourselves so that we can fight this disease and every ache and pain that comes with it. Below are some steps to start taking immediately that will help you love yourself exactly the way you are and lead a happier (and potentially healthier) life.

Find a hobby that you can enjoy alone

Doing something you love that you can enjoy by yourself is critical when working on self-love. You should not rely on others to be happy, so find something that you are passionate about and can also do alone. 

I used to absolutely hate spending time by myself. I would avoid going to restaurants as a party of one, always needed a shopping or gym buddy, and recruited anyone who was around to join me to go see a movie. It wasn't until I made a conscious decision to start participating in activities alone that I truly found beauty in spending time with just myself. 

I began going for long runs alone, discovered a love for going to a random restaurant to sit at the bar and have a drink solo, and I started to enjoy shopping without a companion. This also allowed me to potentially meet new people and engage in interesting conversations while discovering what truly made me happy without relying on others.

Commit to having "me time" at least once a week

Sometimes it can be challenging to spend a lot of time alone, especially if you have a family. I often struggle with getting some peace and quiet now that I am married and have a child, so it is important to me to find some "me time" at least once a week to continue working on the relationship I have with myself. 

It can be something as small as reading a book quietly before bed or sometimes I like to go for a drive with the windows down playing my favorite music. Whatever works for you, commit to doing it at least once a week and see how much joy it can bring to your daily life.

Set boundaries

We often have issues with our bodies because they can betray us at any time. Plans to go out on the weekend? Canceled due to a stomach ache. Going hiking? Canceled because of limited bathroom accessibility. The list goes on and on. 

However, setting boundaries with what you are able and unable to do will allow you to better cope when things do not go as planned. Perhaps you can set a lighter schedule for yourself the week before a big weekend event if you know that stress causes you to feel ill. 

Or, when engaging in social activities, take control of where you go so that you can ensure there are proper facilities at your destination and that it is not too far of a drive. Setting boundaries and knowing what you can and cannot do will help give you control over more situations in the event you are not feeling your best.

Give yourself some grace

Despite doing all of the above, sometimes our bodies just don't treat us right. Flares happen, fatigue sets in, urgent testing has to be done, and there is nothing you can do about it. 

Give yourself some grace and know that a bad day does not mean a bad life. Take time to relax, allow your body to heal, and focus on getting well so that you can wake up the next morning and bring your best self to the table. 

Living with Crohn's or colitis is a never-ending journey, so by improving the relationship you have with yourself and allowing yourself to work through bouts of sickness, you will better be able to manage your symptoms and live a more fulfilling life.