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Heartbreaking Things that Well-Intentioned People Say

Oh you know the drill. You may be sitting there taking it all in and thinking everything those loved ones are saying is gospel.

Loved ones don’t specifically have to be a family member. It could be a good friend, a work colleague, an aunt, a friend of a friend. Every man and his dog will have an opinion on your life – if you let them.

Empowered to make decisions about IBD

They have a saying… Opinions are like a$$holes – everyone’s got one. HA! I call BS on that outdated saying! I don’t have one of either of those things! Well, I have no opinion on your life and how you should live it. It’s your life to live after all.

What I will do is empower you. I’m going to empower you to make decisions for yourself that affect you. You’re allowed to be thoughtful and considerate but at the end of the day, I want you to do what feels right for you. Know that no decision is the wrong decision if you do it for the right reasons. We all do things that feel right for us at that time and place in our lives.

The decisions we make and the repeating of mistakes is usually because we have a lesson we’re yet to learn from. So we continue to perpetuate that cycle unknowingly. Hopefully, I can help lift the veil for you.

So get to the point right Krystal?

Okay… So you could be right now reading this from the toilet, the bed, or even the couch. You’ve either got a bowel disease, think you may have one, or even might be heading towards an ostomy or have one already. You may even be in all of those places and be a caregiver (thank you, you’re amazing).

When others have an opinion

No doubt, out of the kindness of others hearts, you will find that others are going to want to add their two cents worth to “help” you. Let’s get that straight. It not f’ing helpful. In fact, it’s the opposite.

I want to tell you this.

All you well-intended people who have told us over our lives…

“But you don’t look sick!” Ummm yeah, no kidding. I’m honestly just faking my intestines eating and eroding me inside out?! I just wanted to play with your mind and trick you.

“You won’t be sexy with a bag”

“You will never find someone to love you”

“Your life will be over”

“You won’t be able to look normal anymore”


The reality is that all of this comes from a place of their own insecurities. This is not yours. You do not need to take that on and own it. You do not need to knock yourself or allow them to knock you down to this place of self-depreciation and self-loathing.

We all have bad times

The honest truth is; you’re damn golden. You’re going to shine. You’re going to have some really shitty times but so does everyone. It’s how we deal with that shittiness that is the difference. My paper cut to your arm being cut off is clearly different but my pain tolerance may not be. Our individual pain is relevant to us and that is all that matters.

Don’t let society dictate who you are or who you should be. You are you.

You are only limited by what you allow yourself to be limited by. You set your own limitations.

Don’t tell yourself any of that crap. Rise above it. Shine above it. Empower those on the journey up with you.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • thedancingcrohnie moderator
    11 months ago

    Love that: “You are only limited by what you allow yourself to be limited by.” So true!

    Always dancing,
    Elizabeth (team member)

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