One Thing I Would Change About My Crohn’s Journey

Looking back on my Crohn’s journey, one of the biggest mistakes I did was isolate from my friends and community. And by isolate, I mean that I didn’t reach out to friends or family during my times of struggle with dealing with this diagnosis. Doing this only increased the pain and mental struggle of Crohn’s and if I could go back, I would change my approach completely.

Balancing privacy and trust

I am naturally a private person. Even in the age of social media I barely post my business. I have always had a small circle of friends and I tend to only open up to a select few people being immediate family and a handful of friends.

Being private about your life is wise. However, it is important when dealing with a serious illness like Crohn’s disease, that you are at least open with your trusted circle. If your tribe is only made up of three people, then at least let those three in on your journey with Crohn’s. Let them offer help. Let them offer support, kindness, compassion.

It is people that offer up the most beautiful salve for healing. People are beautiful. For the most part, people want to always help.

Isolating instead of reaching out

I regret being so hushed about what I was going through. People knew about my diagnosis but I wasn’t actively asking for help when I needed it. Time and time again, I would be flaring and needing support and I would never pick up the phone to reach out. I would just think I would be a bother, that everyone was busy with their issues and mine would just be an extra thing on their plate. I would isolate.

But this way of thinking could not be further from the truth. 

Changing my approach

It wasn’t until years into my diagnosis that I finally decided to change my approach. I decided to reach out. Ask for help. Help with groceries. Help with errands. Help making meals. Just help. And I was overwhelmed with how quickly and willing my circle was to support me.

A moment that comes to mind is when I was living in my apartment in New York City. I desperately needed groceries to get done but I was flaring and had no strength. The fatigue was hitting me hard and the urgency was severe. Just the thought of walking a couple blocks with my cart, doing groceries and walking all the way back, putting them all away then cooking a meal was too overwhelming to even consider. I phoned a friend and with two hours I had all my groceries in my apartment. She put everything away for me and even made me a meal.

I wanted to cry for how grateful I was. And it shocked me how simple it was for me to get help.

So, what I want to say is: reach out to your trusted circle of people who support you. Don’t shelter them from your journey. And when you need support, reach out. Don’t ever hesitate. Send out texts and you will be pleasantly surprised with how quickly your people will offer a helping hand.

Questions for the reader

How about you? Have you gone through a time where you chose to isolate and not ask for help? Do you wish you would be more open about your diagnosis? If so, share below we love to hear from you.