Raising Children with an Ostomy
Lukas was conceived by surprise! He shouldn't really be here but he is and he is going to go places! Look at that gorgeous face?!! Don't let those blonde locks fool you though! He's too smart for his own good! ;)
Arabella was desperately wanted! We tried for 2.5 years to get her. We suffered multiple miscarriages and she was a clomid baby. She is a gentle, loving and sweet little girl obsessed with shoes and getting what she wants when she wants it!!! She will get what she wants in life. :)
Both of our babies were born vaginally. I was very lucky to bring them into the world with Obstetricians that trusted me.
So how do I parent?!
I have no freaking IDEA!!! hahaha. You just do what works for you!
For me, I get tired a lot. I have an ostomy and have for 11 years this year (OMG time has flown!!) and I am in remission but I'm also living with only 1.75m of bowel. I also have 2 crazy kids and I work full time. I also get the mass "mummy guilts" BIG TIME...
I was at an all time low when I decided to go and see the parenting guru Maggie Dent at a conference. I needed some strategies to help me deal with my beautiful boy who I am pretty sure survives off of my life source. ;P He is a boy of unlimited energy!
While there listening to Maggie talking I started bawling my eyes out. I just didn't know what to do anymore and I just wanted to be the best mama I could be. Then she said "Stop guilt tripping yourself!! If you are sick, how can you be the best mama to your kids?! You can't until you are better! So if you need to lay on the couch for a day, then do that. There are no kids without their mama!" Her rule was one that I take as gospel! It's a simple rule: its the 80% & 20% rule. Be the best parent you can be 80% of the time and allow 20% of the time for your mistakes, your crappy dinners, and full days in front of the tv without guilt! OMG I LOVE YOU MAGGIE!!!
I needed her words. I needed that reminder that I just couldn't give myself to perfection 100% of the time. Its just not a realistic expectation of myself.
So occasionally this mama puts herself GUILT FREE first!
Does it matter those days that I don't clean up after my cyclones have been through the house? No! Does it matter if on a rare occasion they eat jar food and toasted sandwiches for dinner?! No!! Cause sometimes I just can't be super mama.
But I will tell you one thing; I love my kids 100% of the time!
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