About To Live My Best Life, But First... Infusions! [PART ONE]

Lately, I’ve really been feeling the need for change. Not just lately. It actually started a while ago. I’ve spent much of my life sick or taking care of the sick. Rarely ever living for myself.

Worries for my family

My condition isn’t the only thing I have to worry about. I have a long list of family members who live with various chronic conditions ranging from autoimmune diseases to things like diabetes and Cancer. In fact, when I first decided to incorporate changes into my life, my family was slapped by some pretty rough news.

My grandfather (and one of my best friends) was diagnosed with Lung Cancer. At the time I’d been researching different locations to live, things to do, lifestyle and diet changes, and more. All of which came to a halt with his diagnosis. I was extremely depressed, but I knew I couldn’t leave him.

The pain and fatigue were so similar to what I've dealt with

So I stayed. I stayed and watched as he suffered. As he broke. In many ways similar to my journey with ulcerative colitis. The pain. The fatigue. So many strong medications that you lose count and stop asking the names after a while. It pained me to watch him suffer in the ways he did, but I’m glad I was able to be there for him. Through my journey with ulcerative colitis, he was always someone I could call on during my time of need. Which was quite often.

My grandfather means so much to me and I honestly wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else in the world than by his side. I was by his side through the worst of it, but also, right beside him for the best. Early 2019 we got some great news, my grandfather's tumors had shrunk! The doctor even used the phrase "excellent shrinkage." Which made my heart skip a beat I was so ecstatic to hear the news! I couldn't wait to celebrate

How can I move when my UC is declining?

Unfortunately, as his condition began to improve, my own began to show signs of decline. I started feeling weaker. Sleeping more often. Less energy and motivation to do anything. Aside from the physical, it was also beginning to impact my mental as well. I was supposed to be taking care of my grandfather, yet here he was taking care of me. I was left to wonder: how in the world was I supposed to move? How could I possibly get away? How could I leave my home while sick? For a while, I was barely able to make it out of bed in the morning. How could I possibly make it all the way to another country?

I did my research and saw my regular GI. After over 3 great years together, I was referred out. In many ways, I was excited but in many, scared. I didn't know how well this doctor and I would get along. I didn't know if he would understand me the way my current GI would. But, I've heard great things about IBD specialists so I promised myself I would keep an open mind.

If I wanted to live a life I loved, I had to put forth the effort required to get there. So I did.