3 Ways to Support a Loved One with Crohn’s Disease

When I first began experiencing symptoms of Crohn’s disease in 2009, my family and friends were quick to jump in and offer their help.

Whether that was rides to appointments or tests, bringing over food, going to the grocery store for me, keeping me company, sending care packages with blankets, and soft socks - it felt like there was such incredible, and tangible support and I was so incredibly grateful. I felt seen in my struggles, and that made the mental and emotional load of being so ill a little easier to balance.

Now here’s the thing. It’s been more than a decade since I got sick. It’s been 10+ years of doctors' appointments and tests, hospitalizations and surgeries, procedures and infusions. Being a patient is just my normal. But - that means that my friends, especially new(er) friends, often struggle with how to support me.

Struggling to support someone with Crohn's disease

Sometimes that struggle looks like different. It might look like a friend who seems to ignore any mention of my Crohn’s disease because they feel awkward and don’t know how to respond. It instead might look like a friend asking over and over again if there’s anything they can do to help support me.

It could be a friend who tries to do things, not knowing if they’re helpful or appreciated or a friend who does nothing because they’re just unsure. I’ve learned to try not to get frustrated by either - we’re all just doing our best here.

But, I’ve thought a lot about this over time, and I’ve come up with 3 forms of support from my family and friends that I’ve come to appreciate the most - whether I’m living with or struggling with Crohn’s disease, and I wanted to share those. Whether you’re the patient or the loved one, I think these can be adaptable & hopefully, feel supportive to both you and your people.

Ways to support a loved one with Crohn's disease

Providing company:

Whether I’m going to a scheduled or an emergency appointment, an infusion, or a test, or even when I’m just at home - company is something I truly value. Like the friend who offers to drive me so I don’t waste my energy, and picks out some fun music for the car ride. Or the friend who comes over in sweats, to lay on the couch and watch a movie together. Friends who want to show up & be there, without answers, without needs, just to offer love - that’s everything to me.

Groceries and running errands:

One of my biggest struggles with Crohn’s disease (even on the good days) is fatigue. It seems like my to-do (or want-to-do) list is always longer than I have the energy to tackle, and this is a huge source of frustration for me. Leaving the house, especially to shop, buy groceries, or run errands is something I always push off.

Yes, there are delivery services, and yes, I used them often, but it’s not always possible to get everything that way. And to be honest, obtaining the items is only part of the process. For me, organizing and putting them away also takes a lot of energy - something that I often am without.

Help with food prep:

In addition, when I don’t feel well, I never have extra strength or capacity for food prep. Whether it’s snacks or meals, considerations for my IBD symptoms, or availability of regular food, I find myself relying too heavily on pre-packaged items that don’t require time or energy.

When friends or family members offer to run the errands, or to come over and put away deliveries, or to make a few things in the kitchen - I feel so gosh darn grateful. It’s something that I have a really hard time asking for help on, but it’s one of the most beneficial types of support I’ve received.

In what ways have you been supported or offered support to others? Please share below!