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Trying to Conceive

Oh that old chestnut… Trying to conceive. If only it was as easy as writing those few words.

I have 2 children – two totally different experiences and pregnancies.

At 15 when I was diagnosed I was warned that I’d never have children and even if I did I would struggle to fall pregnant. This was because I had Crohn’s Disease. My specialist, in fact, told me to start trying immediately. Ummmm no. I was only 15!

At 21 I was young and stupid and engaged. I was also at the height of my disease. It was an awful time and I was stupidly trying to get pregnant with the fiancee at the time. He was trying to get everyone else pregnant too, including my best friend. She got pregnant, but I did not. Phew! I completely dodged a bullet but I tried for 2 years and could not get pregnant.

Years later and a much smarter (but a hopeless romantic) Krystal moved to Greece. I was hopelessly in love with a Greek man who swept me off my feet. We never used protection because I “knew” I’d never get pregnant anyway.

I did fall pregnant after a year, but sadly I miscarried that baby. I still see her in my dreams and will forever miss my Greek home.

With pregnancies and diseases, especially those which reside so closely to our reproductive area, we’re prone to miscarriages. There’s scar tissue issues, low immunity, other issues, exhaustion, low vitamins… The list goes on…

We don’t talk about miscarriages.

We don’t talk about each pregnancy like it is the miracle that it is.

Each baby is a blessing. The desire for that child, no matter if it was planned or a surprise.

I have had 3 miscarriages.

There’s a social rule that we don’t talk about them unless we are into the 2nd trimester safely. I don’t like this rule. I don’t want to isolate my excitement or even, heaven forbid, my grief.

My 2 living children are Lukas and Arabella. Lukas was a HUGE surprise baby!

I’d moved back from Greece, single and ready to be an independent and not hopeless romantic woman! Men were on my kill list and I was only going to take care of me. Greece had made me jaded and hurt.

I met Shannon (now husband) 7 years ago at work. We dated for 3 weeks and on the 3rd time having “mama & daddy cuddles” using protection even, we fell pregnant with Lukas. Knowing my son now, I’m pretty sure he raced so fast that he burst through the condom just to be here! The child has still not stopped moving!!! 🙂

Shannon and I fell in love despite the humongous surprise baby and we tried to have our second baby for 2.5 years.

I just couldn’t fall pregnant.

During my disease, I’d had bouts of missing period and now I was in remission and trying to conceive. It just wasn’t working!! I was eventually diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome – because Crohn’s Disease isn’t enough?!!!

We had to go and see a fertility specialist and had so many ultrasounds, blood tests and samples taken. It was not fun. Eventually my cycle came back and after tracking it for months, they finally called to say to start having sex. Weirdest thing ever to be told, and I felt like a teenager lol.

I can tell you right now that there is nothing sexy or romantic about trying to conceive.

Theres a timer on you and the pressure is exhausting. Then there is the staying up all night thinking and analyzing everything. Will it happen this month? Am I finally pregnant? Will this ever work? Then you might finally get those 2 lines and the baby just doesn’t want to stick.

Oh unsticky baby! Why do you break my heart so. There is so much excitement and relief and then devastation. It’s awful. I’ve had 3 devastation.

My babies love to come at the worst possible times! Arabella had been tried for 2.5 years without success and then the day I started my new job I found out I was pregnant!! That was a fun conversation to have with my new boss!!!

At the end of the day, some are our little sticky babies who are destined to be here! Some just aren’t and Ill miss my angel babies forever. Their losses still impact me.

If you are having trouble conceiving, don’t be afraid to speak to your doctor. If they tell you to just keep trying, push the issue. You don’t have to go through that. See a specialist who can support and help you hold in your arms a piece of your heart <3

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • thedancingcrohnie moderator
    1 year ago

    Thank you for sharing your story. I know so many women with IBD are nervous to start a family, and although you had your trials, you have two babies and that is so inspiring. It just goes to show that it is possible to have children with IBD and that is so comforting.

    Always dancing,
    Elizabeth (team member)

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