Shhh... Confessions of the Unspoken
Lets talk about the nitty gritty and the unspoken, shall we?? Lets talk about being a woman and having an Ostomy.
***Warning: I'm going to talk about periods and sex***
I got my period for the first time in 2 years - yes I just said period. Now I know that we are conditioned to not speak of these things but I want to create a safe place and an open place were we can all just be real and read it exactly how it bloody well is!
There's been a few times in my life that I haven't gotten my period regularly.
This time is purely because I'm only breastfeeding my daughter 2 times a day now! Damn, maybe I shouldn't have tried to cut her back?!! hahaha. She is 14 months now so its just about time and this mama got a small amount of her life and body back!
It reminded me of all the times in my life that my period has alluded me. The times that my health has been so bad that my periods disappeared which I am sure it was just to mess with my head! Then after my son I was also diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovaries! Damn it, will it ever end?!!
When I was young my mother told me that sex was only going to be with someone special and the moment I lost my virginity would be a magical moment. I'm sorry ladies and mamas, but I'm calling BS! Im hoping that I will raise my children to see sex as a beautiful moment but it can be shared with whoever they want and all by themselves if thats what they so wish.
With this in mind (and so not a virgin) when I had my first surgery I thought that I would probably never have sex again. I thought that someone would have to love me completely and then I'd have to transition into wanting me physically, that maybe my body wouldn't be nice enough to have a "special friend" but one day that all changed.
A boyfriend broke up with me because he couldn't handle me having a bag.
I went to the nightclub with my friends for my birthday and I met a man who would forever change my life! Now if you know me, you've probably heard this story before and I apologise for talking about it again lol. But... in my defense, it was a pretty epic moment in my life and I think life is just that, a collection of epic moments that guide us to a certain point!
So I'm dancing with this gorgeous guy who I never thought would even look twice at me and he wanted to take my crazy butt home with him. I told him that I couldn't, I desperately wanted to but I'd decided that no one would ever love me with a bag and I was just going to play! He gently pushed and I caved that it was because I had a bag and his response floored me; He already knew! Huh?! How the hell?! He'd figured it all out on his own! Must have been all that close dancing. ;) SOLD! Well I was, and off we went.
It was a great night and imprinted firmly in my mind that I was absolutely desirable! He didn't owe me anything, he didn't have to choose me out of the club, he was young and in my mind should have chosen someone with a perfect body! right?! WRONG!!! This night showed me that imperfections can also be just as sexy, confidence is sexiest.
It's how you hold yourself and how you feel internally about whatever has changed you.
I believe that if you see it as something that makes you damaged then when you explain it to people it will make them think exactly that. If you are nonchalant about it then others will respond to just that! Hold yourself high sexy ladies! You are total babes, total warriors and should be worshipped as just that!!
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