What Happens When You're in Remission?
So you're in remission! Yay! Congrats! It's something so ridiculously exciting that no one really understands until you're there. But then you get a tiny bit of that survivor guilt. How and who do you identify with now? Are you still a Crohnie? Are you cured? Are you a Ostomate? Can you be all of it?!
For me I have Crohn's Disease but I've had just about all of my bowel removed and I'm in surgical remission. I have an ileostomy now and I haven't had any reoccurrence of my Crohn's. In my head I tell myself, mind over matter, I am now cured right?! I cling to that like a desperate baby not ready to leave her mamas bosom.
I'm all over the place, one minute I'm cured and the next I'm very quickly reminded that although I do not have any active Crohn's disease, I am not cured and I do not have the energy, body or health of a normal fit person! Aghhh!
I feel guilty that I haven't had any active disease in such a long time.
I feel guilty that I don't feel I have any rights to say I have Crohn's but the fact is I do.Realistically my Crohn's can come back at anytime. I get so caught up in the blissfulness of no pain that when I get a hint of it - like this mornings crazy cramping session, that I want to crawl into a ball, cry and rock myself to another blissful day.
Now I am on the other side I try not talk too much about not having had any active disease for a long time. I'm afraid that I'm not welcome in the group of Crohnies and I'm scared to disrespect those who are still suffering. But then I thought to myself, what about those who are just like me? Can I represent them? I've tried with my blog so I can reach not just people with Bowel diseases but Ostomies too.
I hope to support my fellow Crohnies, Bag Ladies, Bag Men and IBD warriors! It shouldn't really matter if we are cured, in remission or are managing relatively well. We're all in a very unique boat full of love and support. There are so many of us out there that realistically we are the new normal! There are more people out there silently suffering who need this website and then variations of experiences of support!
So you're in remission, be proud, be honoured and enjoy the moment. Cling to whatever hope or mind set that you have because it is powerful. You are a IBD Goddess and God warrior!
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