World Ostomy Day To Me Part 2

Read the first part of this article: World Ostomy Day to Me Part 1

What does World Ostomy Day mean to me?

Post surgery, our first stomal meeting was very surreal. There was this thing on my tummy, it was weirdly me but not. I was so scared of hurting my stoma while cleaning it! I felt very disconnected but yet so connected to this red blob. Rationally I knew what it was but it felt like it had its own identity!

Snoopy is what my friends named him

He was my doggy bag! Snoopy was loud, had a mind of his own, and completely dictated my pooing regiment. Not that I ever had control of that part! Haha.

I had a lot of alone time before and after my surgery. A lot of time to process and think about how much was going to change. I was already so isolated by my disease that my stoma and bag hadn’t really changed much at all. But it was going to change my love relationships.

In my mind I rationalized it as an opportunity to weed out all the a**holes permanently out of my life! Only someone amazing would see me for all that I was despite my bag, and I'd let it do that for me. After all, why didn’t I deserve love like everyone else?! I couldnt believe my aunt that no one would love me with an ostomy.

Someone would see past it...

After my surgery, I had my typical insecurities, meltdowns, and dumpings from boys not being able to cope with me having a bag, but I knew it just wasn’t meant to be. At the end of the day, someone would be right for me.

I also got to do some amazing things that I never thought possible! I moved interstate and went to uni! I never thought I could commit to something so big because sickness had always gotten in the way. It wouldn't this time!

Well, it wasn’t being sick that stopped my studies, but a chance to move to Greece! I moved overseas and lived there for 3 years! I learnt to navigate ostomy supplies in different languages and met some amazing inspirational ostomates! I even did some ostomy modeling! I learnt how to dress as me with my bag.

I wouldnt be held back anymore

I swam, I had sex, I drank, I danced, I loved and was loved, I even had 2 children. My ostomy gave me my life back. Having an ostomy gave me the chance to give life!

So with World Ostomy Day coming, I have the opportunity to reflect on how far I've come since I went from a sick girl to a bag lady mama. I am more than an ostomy, but my ostomy gave me the chance to define who I wanted to be and who I wanted in my life.

An ostomy gave me a chance to be here. To type this, to reflect, and to be grateful for even just a chance at life. Then I made it the life I wanted it to be.