Loner VS Social Butterfly

By Beautifully Broken

1 min read

Relationships are hard enough for the general (“healthy “) public. Having a chronic disease makes absolutely every aspect in my life different. I say different because my life isn’t full of negativity. Things are definitely harder or more emotional, embarrassing, etc. I’ve had to get used to doing things differently, therefore becoming my “normal “. Like my purse for the past 15 years always has Kleenex inside, as well as hand sanitizer, Tylenol, and usually a snack. My bathroom has my favourite magazines, some sketch pads (since I’m an artist), and I’ve been known to have cookies on the shelf lol. But these changes are to benefit myself, obviously, and make my life easier and more enjoyable.

Is it difficult to date a Crohnie?

Relationships and dating are different with each new guy I date, so there’s nothing to really make it easier when going through breakups for example. I’m 38 yrs old and am dating an amazing man currently. But it has been a ride through hell, having a past dating history of narcissists, jealous/selfish/immature/unemployed horrible men. Approximately 8 guys in like 15 years...my goodness was I picking the wrong guy, or was it me?

My current Prince Charming blames it on my bad taste. Bless his heart, but dating a sick girl must have moments where my past ex boyfriends have questioned their reasons for dating me.

Do you agree is takes a special human (extremely rare) to date someone, a ”crohnie”, like myself?

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crystalharper Community Admin
Hi! I really want to emphasize what you said about dating being hard for anyone. It really is so true and it seems like technology only makes it harder (things like social media and dating apps). Although I do not have IBD, I can completely relate to what you’re saying. I was diagnosed with cancer at 25 and trying to date after my diagnosis was a complete nightmare. I met so many guys that did not treat me well because of it, but I ended up meeting my Prince Charming after we bonded over my cancer and a brain tumor that he was diagnosed with. What I’m trying to say is that every woman out there will always be “too much” for some men, but you cannot give up because that dream man is out there. Does your current Prince Charming (I love that phrase) treat you well? If he does and you guys can have fun together, I wouldn’t overthink the other stuff. Nobody should ever make you feel bad for who you are. I’m so glad you shared your story. You sound like an incredibly strong woman and I hope you find what you’re looking for ❤️ Kindly, Crystal (IBD team member)
Sahara Fleetwood-Beresford Moderator & Contributor
I don't know if I would say special, just a good person. Someone who is unselfish and who will actually listen and understand any boundaries we have to work within for any reason. I'm glad to hear that you think you have found a good one this time! - Sahara (team member)
Amanda Osowski Moderator & Contributor
Hi <inline-mention user-id="2256801" username="beautifullybroken"/> , This is a GREAT topic and I'm so glad you wrote on it. Honestly, I feel like it should just take a compassionate person, not a special one, but these days it feels like that might be getting harder and harder to find. Thank you for sharing this question with our community! Warmly, Amanda (IBD Team Member)
thedancingcrohnie Moderator & Contributor
Hi <inline-mention user-id="2256801" username="beautifullybroken"/> , I think it just takes a mature and compassionate person to date someone with IBD. I think the issue is that it is just getting a little harder to find such people these days. But! I have been dating my boy friend for four years now, and he is absolutely amazing. He helps me when I need help, goes to doctors appointments with me, makes sure I am as comfortable as I can be during a flare and just loves me for me. They are out there and when the time is right everything will fall into place. Hugs, Elizabeth (team member)
Matt Nagin Moderator
Thanks for sharing. I think there are lots of people who can date someone with Crohn's disease. TBH, it's not for everyone. But, in my experience, there are many who understand it and can be supportive. It is just a matter of finding the right type of person. It seems you have done that so congratulations to you. I've done quite a bit of dating over the years and have found those who can't accept it and many more who do. Most do. Of course, there are levels of understanding. Some become overwhelmed by it all easier than others. It is a tough challenge for anyone. But fortunately there are good people out there who can love and appreciate us for who we are and who do not hold it against us that we have a terrible, intestinal disease.

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