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Here I Go Again

When dealing with Crohn's Disease, a title like "Here I go Again" can have more than one meaning. In this case, it means that (1) I know another flare is right around the corner; indeed, I may already be in the early stages of one, (2) I know this because, well, everyone around me is hearing me say, "Gotta run" as I do the bathroom dash time and again, and (3) my current treatment regimen is faltering again.

I've had Crohn's since 1992. In that time, my doctors and I have tried everything from early immunosuppressants (hello, sulfasalazine!) through every TNF blocker on the market. Yes, I've subjected my body to Remicade (can you say "anaphylactic shock"?), Cimzia, Humira and currently, Stelara. The Stelara was a hail mary play back in February. But as with everything else I've tried, it's no longer being very effective and my body is letting me know in uncertain terms.

The only drug that's proven effective of at least making me relatively symptom free is Prednisone. A few years ago, because it seemed like the only thing that could let me do anything other than lie in bed (except for the bathroom dash, always the bathroom dash), I tried a 20mg maintenance dose of Prednisone for about a year. But you know how you hear there are long term side effects to prolonged use of Prednisone? I'm the living proof of it. I'm half-blind, my lungs, arteries and heart are damaged and I have a horrible case of arthritis.

So what's next? I haven't the foggiest. I have had two very bad episodes: in 1996, I spent 4 months hospitalized after my colon ruptured. 5 years ago I spent 2 months in the hospital as my body pretty much shut down. I passed out in Penn Station's restroom; I didn't know it then, but it was the last day I would ever be gainfully employed. I can only hope this isn't the start of something similar.

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