How Crohn’s Made Me Love Myself!

I’ve suffered so much pain and anxiety, enough for 100 lifetimes. I have experienced every complication, infection, uncomfortable procedures, so much crying, so much darkness.

One day I was released from a 4 month hospitalization, and I left the hospital feeling free and calm. That was almost 3 years ago, and every single day since, I think about how grateful I am to be alive, breathing, putting on makeup, and not crawling in pain to the washroom 45 times a day. Since I’ve been on Humira injections, my life has improved a huge amount. My pain is 90% gone. My bowel movements are solid and I go once a day. How did I go from complete darkness to these bright sunny days?

I suffered with Crohn's for 15 yearsIt was normal for me to be incontinent of feces while in the grocery store, I always cancelled plans, and pain was constant so I forgot what it felt like to feel genuinely happy. I love telling my story because it reminds me how much I’ve overcome and I know how it feels to be hopeless. I know how alone I felt. Social media was not how it is today, where you can chat online with thousands of others in your shoes. I had to hide most of my dark thoughts. I didn’t want pity. But now as I talk about it I feel better and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been! I’m extremely empathetic and grateful! I want to help anyone suffering from any illness, I don’t want anyone to feel alone or scared. I love my life, the people in it, and I will continue to spread my positive outlook until I help the entire world through the darkness. “While in the darkness I found my True Light” I tattooed it on my arm to read it every day!

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