My beautifully broken Life

I had what I now refer to as "the perfect life" from birth until age 19. When I was in grade 13 of high school, to get ready to take the Nursing Program! I was smart, good looking, always popular, every single thing I did I found to be easy. Then, I guess I needed a shock to my system.

First it started as chronic diarrhea...for 2 years. All thru my nursing schooling. I graduated thankfully, but my first year living in southern Ontario I had appendicitis, thankfully, cause the dr cut me open due to my chronic diarrhea comment. I woke up to news I had already assumed.
“You have Crohn’s disease “.

Living in the Darkness

That was age 21. From then until I was 28, I had the most exciting life in Hamilton, Toronto area, saw every band while also working as a full time nurse. My body gave up after a good decade. I called off a wedding and moved 12hrs north back in with my mom. The next few years I refer to as my “darkness”. The worst pain of my life. 2 fistulas on my abdomen spraying out any liquid I consumed (I’d lay there with a container and catch the contents as I’d watch The Bachelor).

My life was so unbelievable on a daily basis, it honestly affected my mental well-being. Hospital stays, surgeries, perforations, infections, tissue ripping open internally, eating through TPN, which is an IV tube that inserts and keeps me fed and hydrated. I thought I was dying on 2 separate occasions. After my last hospitalization which was 5 months, I started Humira injections.

Let me re-phrase....Humira SAVED MY LIFE. It’s been 3 years, I believe, and for the first time in over 15 years, I had a formed poop. I realize no one even can comprehend what over half my life has been. All I know is at this moment, I can stand up out of bed, put on makeup, and try to carry on with my activities of daily living as best as I can.

I’m still here, I’m breathing

I know what’s really important in life. You will never hear a petty sentence EVER come out of my mouth. This life experience made me a better person, more appreciative, respectful, happy to be able to share my happiness. I can’t thank Humira enough, it was my personal miracle cure. Obviously we are all so different, but after the decade of darkness, this beautifully broken life I live is well worth each day I’m here.

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