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My beautifully broken Life

I had what I now refer to as “the perfect life” from birth until age 19. When I was in grade 13 of high school, to get ready to take the Nursing Program! I was smart, good looking, always popular, every single thing I did I found to be easy. Then, I guess I needed a shock to my system.

First it started as chronic diarrhea…for 2 years. All thru my nursing schooling. I graduated thankfully, but my first year living in southern Ontario I had appendicitis, thankfully, cause the dr cut me open due to my chronic diarrhea comment. I woke up to news I had already assumed.
“You have Crohn’s disease “.

Living in the Darkness

That was age 21. From then until I was 28, I had the most exciting life in Hamilton, Toronto area, saw every band while also working as a full time nurse. My body gave up after a good decade. I called off a wedding and moved 12hrs north back in with my mom. The next few years I refer to as my “darkness”. The worst pain of my life. 2 fistulas on my abdomen spraying out any liquid I consumed (I’d lay there with a container and catch the contents as I’d watch The Bachelor).

My life was so unbelievable on a daily basis, it honestly affected my mental well-being. Hospital stays, surgeries, perforations, infections, tissue ripping open internally, eating through TPN, which is an IV tube that inserts and keeps me fed and hydrated. I thought I was dying on 2 separate occasions. After my last hospitalization which was 5 months, I started Humira injections.

Let me re-phrase….Humira SAVED MY LIFE. It’s been 3 years, I believe, and for the first time in over 15 years, I had a formed poop. I realize no one even can comprehend what over half my life has been. All I know is at this moment, I can stand up out of bed, put on makeup, and try to carry on with my activities of daily living as best as I can.

I’m still here, I’m breathing

I know what’s really important in life. You will never hear a petty sentence EVER come out of my mouth. This life experience made me a better person, more appreciative, respectful, happy to be able to share my happiness. I can’t thank Humira enough, it was my personal miracle cure. Obviously we are all so different, but after the decade of darkness, this beautifully broken life I live is well worth each day I’m here.


This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • crystal.harper moderator
    2 weeks ago

    I’m so sorry for all the pain you’ve had to go through. I absolutely love your outlook on life though. Isn’t it funny that these terrible things that happen to us can sometimes change our whole perspective for the better? I’m wishing you nothing but happiness in your future. You deserve it

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