Would they tell me to try to run if I had a broken leg?
My daily routine is almost always the same. Wake up, try to eat and take my medication, lie down on the couch because of the cramps, go to the toilet a LOT of times, and then going back to the couch, exhausted from the toilet trips and the cramps. In a very good day, I am able to go out to the supermarket or for a 10 minute walk.
I have not been properly diagnosed yet, so I don't have the right tools to fight this for now. I am currently taking more exams to find out how to fix this and have changed to a (hopefully) more concerned GI than my previous one.
This has been my routine for the past few months and it has taken a long time for me to get used to this. I used to go to college, go out for a coffee with friends, for a run or just for a walk every day. I was never the kind of person that could stay in the couch all day, let alone not leaving the house for a full week. Every time I try to walk or to do other, apparently simple activities, the cramps make it 100 times more difficult, and they usually get worse when I try to move. I don't know if this is common or if it happens to other people, to get worse with movement, but it definitely happens to me.
I am still not at peace with this and it is extremely hard to see other 20 year olds going out for lunch, going to the gym, or simply getting out of the house. However, I have learned that if I push myself to do that, the pain gets worse, not only in that day, but in the days that follow. So, the effort is not worth it. However, in the eyes of my loved ones, staying indoors only makes me feel worse. They have repeatedly advised me to try to go for a walk or to leave the house. I know that they mean well, and are just trying to help, but I can't even start describing how it hurts to listen to this.
I have had a long journey to accept that for now, I am not able to do those things, regardless of how much effort I put into it, and that's OK. As much as it hurts to stay on my couch, resting, I have listened to my body and this is for sure the best thing to do now. I have tried to explain to my family that I can't do those things for now, and even asked them: "If I had a broken leg, would you advice me to try to run?" I know that my pain cannot be seen as the one from a broken leg, but it makes me feel as limited (if not more) as if I had a broken limb.
How do I manage to stay in peace with this advice if it is already so hard to accept my routine without having people remind me of what I can't do?
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