IBD, diarrhea and dating?

I was dx'ed at 14 years old with Crohns disease. I am now 56 years old. I thought I was done dating when I got married at 35. It lasted 10 years. Now I find myself divorced. I am terrified to date.

My Crohn's was never extreme. I've had 3 resections that all put me into temporary remissions, this last one being the longest. Unfortunately, remission doesn't mean no symptoms. I still fight with diarrhea all the time, and as I get older, it gets more difficult to 'hold it'.

My ex 'seemed' ok with the disease and what it means. But as I was aging, things got worse. I had 'accidents' many times that he helped me through. Even when we were intimate.

But now I wear a 'pull-up' to bed quite often. Keeps the underwear clean! I don't know how/when to explain my problems to a potential relationship. I'm very embarrassed about my gas, let alone the leakage I sometimes have.

Has anyone been through this? What did you do or say to make it less embarrassing? I am at the point where I'd like to have a man in my life again, but too afraid to start looking again.