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angry woman breathing fire

Is it Okay to be Angry?

You’ve probably been told by everyone, if you’re like me, that you need to look at the positives and move on with life. Everyone always wants to remind you that there is always someone worse off than you. They may even be right. There is always someone out there that is suffering and it may be a lot worse than you, but does that remove the significance or the impact of your pain? No.

One thing that I hate being told is that there is someone way worse off than me or someone saying that I have it way worse than them.

Why?

Pain and suffering is relative to the individual person

Because it’s unauthentic. It’s unauthentic to acknowledge my own pain and unauthentic to be self-deprecating. It’s not fair on anyone to be dismissive of the trauma, pain, and significance of someone else’s pain and situation. Its all relative to the individual person.

My experiences do not remove or diminish someone else’s and I think it’s very important that we remember that.

The ways that we experience life varies to the individual, the ways that we interpret experiences vary, and our pain tolerances are different. That does not mean that mine is right and yours is wrong, or vice versa.

I’ve been angry

I’ve experienced so much pain and trauma in my life and I’ve been angry. Angry at the world and everyone in it. Angry at things that aren’t tangible so I could find a sense of reason, so I could find something to justify it all.

Crohn’s disease has destroyed my life

Do I feel bad for feeling angry? Hell no! I have earned the right to be angry – unabashedly. Having Crohns Disease since I was 14 has significantly destroyed my life; it always made it too. I’ve been spinning out of control, where I’ve had no control over my body or anything else. The pain has kept me isolated. It has felt like my life was not my own. It has felt like my health and brain were trapped, silenced in a dysfunctional body.

So have you.

If you are angry, sad, frustrated, etc, you’ve probably told yourself off just like I have, to just keep going and not whine so much. People get tired of hearing it, and so do we get sick of saying it. But I want you to consider this…

Be angry but then move on

Why not just take the moment? Why not just be angry and miserable for a day or two, but then keep moving? My theory is, we suffer so much more by suppressing our feelings and emotions; it’s like bottling up a volcano that will eventually erupt. Grieve for your life, the losses but keep moving.

If this is a new change for you, communicate that with your loved ones. Explain that from now on, you will be ok with being a mess for a few days and they just need to support and ride it out, because a) you’ve earned it, and b) you will move on from the moment as quickly as it came.

Being chronically ill is hard enough without having to suppress yourself.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The InflammatoryBowelDisease.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Comments

  • meghan6288
    3 months ago

    Thanks for this post. It’s just what I needed today while being stuck in the hospital. ❤️

  • Meagan Heidelberg moderator
    3 months ago

    We hope you are doing better since your hospitalization, @meghan6288! Thank you for reading!
    Best – Meagan, InflammatoryBowelDisease.net Team Member

  • Lolo
    3 months ago

    Good read and validation of how I feel sometimes. At times you just gotta be angry and wallow in the “why me”. I’ve been lucky that my family and friends are very understanding when I’m in this place. We know this mood will pass in a few hours or days. And if it doesn’t, they reach out to me or I reach out to them. I tell myself (convince myself?) I am not my disease. Good luck to you all.

  • thedancingcrohnie moderator
    3 months ago

    This is a great post. I have also come to the realization that bottling emotions doesn’t help us or our health. We need to feel our emotions and let them out before they enlarge inside of us and take over. When you’re angry, feel the emotion but just as you say, don’t dwell in it for too long. Move on and out of it, but you must let it out first.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I can relate completely!

    Always dancing,
    Elizabeth (team member)

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