Don't Be Afraid to Ask for Help
Last updated: June 2020
It's so easy for me to sit here looking back. I don't have the waves of agony crashing over me, taking my breath away and my ability to focus. I'm here on the other side now with my hand out to you, hoping that I can light that dark path that you might be on right now.
Living with Crohn's is all-consuming and painful
Having Crohn's Disease is all-consuming. It hurts from your hair follicles down to your toes. You only get approximately 30-40 seconds of relief after going to the toilet for an hour just to feel that poison consuming your already ravaged body. Some days it's so normal you don't see the big deal in everyone else's eyes.
Surgery brings you this weird sense of excitement, because hell anything is better than this "life" you're currently living right? But it also brings fear.
Fear of the unknown, fear of the impact that this tiny little bag will have on every. single. part. of. your. life. How will this new "baggage" define you? Will you be defined by it? Maybe you will, maybe you won't.
What will define you are the steps YOU take in your ownership of your life. YOU can let it all swallow you up, but you really shouldn't! Don't you already see how absolutely freaking amazing you are? I don't even know you but I know your story. I know your life. I've lived that life.
How counseling has helped me with Crohn's
What I can't give you is all the answers. You get to find them out yourself. Sorry! ;P I can tell you what has helped me. Its the 'C' word... Counseling.
Now before you say, yes but I've spoken to someone before and they were a jerk - probably totally were, BUT!!!! A counselor is completely unique. You need to think of yourself and cinderella and find the glass slipper that is the PERFECT counselor for you!!! Honestly, please take that one tip very seriously. You may have to kiss a few counselor frogs before you find the right one!
The thing I found the hardest was finding someone who knew how to provide support to someone with a serious health issue. I did and he was also someone I knew very well.
Support and tips from counseling
Thankfully the support I have received wasn't dismissive. He couldn't give me a cure, he couldn't give me the answers I was seeking but he helped me find my own strength to go out there and know my worth. He gave me the stepping stones to be able to one by one remove all the toxic people from my life and a lot of the stressors.
It is so important to have valuable people in your circle. It's important to remove those who bring you down. No one needs that and you don't need or owe them anything.
Counseling has also helped my relationship with my husband after my second surgery. The pressure of a new family, new relationship, and then add a significant health issue is overwhelming and it's lucky it didn't break us. We went and saw a counselor together and I can honestly say it is the most significant step. It's not shameful.
Asking for help
So if you need to do it quietly and by yourself, go and ask for help. Don't be afraid to ask for someone else's help if you need it and don't be afraid to find someone else if your counselor isn't working for you. At no point will you ever owe that person anything. Find your perfect fit.
Don't be afraid to ask for help.
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