Food & Self Acceptance Part 2

Part one of this article can be found here.

This is the short version of my timeline with food. I can break it down even more, but I think you get the idea. There’s always been an unhealthy relationship there. It’s extremely hard for me to break some of my old habits, although I am constantly putting forth the effort, a lot of it goes to waste. The hardest part of it all is that because I am living with a digestive disease, my condition ultimately faces the consequences of my bad eating habits. A lot of these habits were created by my condition. Which is crazy to think.

The effects of steroids on weight

For example: If I would have never started steroids, I wouldn’t have seen such a large shift in my weight during such a short period of time. I wouldn’t have been so hungry nor would I have retained so much water. As far as the protein shakes during my surgeries, I think that speaks for itself. I never would have chosen that kind of diet on my own and honestly, I didn’t realize just how much of an impact it would have on my body. Taking on all of that protein and not being able to do any kind of exercise (because I was bedridden after surgery) really caused me to pack on the pounds.

I was not okay with these changes in my body

My condition has played a huge role in every aspect of my life, but especially on my relationship with food and weight. This has had a direct impact on my self-confidence and self-esteem. These are huge reasons why I believe people diagnosed with any chronic condition young, but especially with things like Crohn’s and colitis, should be referred to a mental health specialist. I needed someone to talk to when I was younger. I needed someone to explain what was happening to my body and why it was okay. Or at least someone to help me feel okay with it.

Although I have gained more strength, I still struggle with the confidence to this day. When I am eating dinner or having a snack with a friend, I’m constantly asking myself, “do I need this?” Partially because of IBD, but partially because of my body and how I see myself.

Self-confidence and body image with UC

My struggles have truly shown me one thing more than all: we are truly our own worst critics. While we’re criticizing ourselves, others are wishing they were more like us or had something we didn’t even realize we have. I guess the point I am trying to make is simple- our conditions are hard to live with. Especially on our mental health. It leaves us to forever wonder things like: will I ever be healthy? Will I ever be good enough? Will I ever be able to do or eat what I want? It impacts us in every way, but two of the hardest for me have been with self-confidence and body image. These are not things to be taken lightly. If you’ve been dealing with similar frustrations, I want you to know they are valid. These are huge concerns for even the healthiest of people.