A woman lying on a cloud with her hands behind her head daydreaming.

Dreaming About Remission

I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease in 2011, and I have yet to hit remission.

It has been a hard journey and not until this last year have I finally found medication that I have responded to. 

Finding the right Crohn's medication

I tried all the biologics and none helped me, along with other medications like Asacol and Azathioprine. Nothing worked and I was always feeling horrible and ending up in the hospital.

But over the last year, I have been on a new medication that has given me a lot of my life back. I do still deal with symptoms but nothing like before. I can now function and even exercise and tolerate more foods.  I’ve put on some weight which is a great sign and overall just feels so much better.

I haven’t been plagued with the constant, 24/7 battle of Crohn’s symptoms. I feel like perhaps I am in remission or extremely close.

I'll soon be doing a colonoscopy to check on my progress with this new medication and I can’t help but wonder: Will I be in remission? 

Hoping my colonoscopy shows remission

If I am, I can’t get over the joy and probably a flood of happy tears that will explode down my face at the sound of the news. I don’t think I would be happier if these were my results.

But what if I get the complete opposite?

The same old news that there my disease is active and let’s try blah blah blah to try and heal the gut more. I’m not sure how I would react, to be honest. 

I think I would be pretty matter-of-fact and just take it with a grain of salt, or perhaps I will break down in tears.

Sometimes lab tests don't reflect our symptoms

The frustrating thing about labs and tests, which I think we can all agree on, is that sometimes they don’t line up with how you are feeling. 

There have been so many times where I go in for blood work, feeling amazing and the results only show severe inflammation and multiple deficiencies that must be corrected. 

Or how about when you go in for a colonoscopy feeling like death only to learn that things look pretty good and it was the best colonoscopy to date... What?  It just doesn’t make sense sometimes.

Anxious about my next colonoscopy results

Overall, I am anxious and excited about this upcoming colonoscopy. 

I have zero nerves about the actual procedure itself, as I have literally lost count on how many of these I have done. Easily over 10, without a doubt. 

I’ve done so many that at this point I look forward to having nap time induced by good old Propofol. It still amazes me how quickly that stuff puts you out.

Continuing to push for Crohn's remission

Anyways, I just want to encourage you if you feel like you’re the only one that hasn’t hit remission. I’m the same, you aren’t alone. 

Most importantly, don’t lose hope. Take my story and understand that sometimes it takes years to find the right medication for your body. But it’s out there. 

Keep pushing your doctor to try new things and stay faithful that the right medication will soon be found.

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