We’re Not “Fussy Eaters"!

By Sahara Fleetwood-Beresford

2 min read

I hate being thought of as a fussy eater.

I really don’t think I am, but of course, IBD often dictates what we can and can’t tolerate. Even more annoying is the fact that it so frequently changes!

My IBD diet

For me, flares have always meant a low residue diet. It helps slow things down and gives my digestive system time to have a little rest. It was always my “go-to” whenever my ulcerative colitis symptoms started. Sometimes, it was enough to calm things down again before the flare really took hold!

The trouble with low residue foods is that going out to eat feels like hard work. I don’t mind asking for adaptations to meals ordinarily, but when all you can have is a baked potato, or a ham and cheese toastie, it barely seems worth going out for.

Going out to eat with IBD

If I can make things at home super easily, I hate having to pay for it. I often end up ordering side dishes like garlic bread or fries, which I could literally chuck in the oven at home for next to no cost. I know, I sound like a grumpy old man, don’t I? But, it’s just one of those things that really annoys me!

But, what’s the alternative? Turning down invitations to go out for food and be social? Just staying home and eating cereal or noodles? Which ultimately leads to isolation...

I need to make modifications

Even when I’m at my best, I still have issues with certain foods. Usually, for a brief period following surgery, I can eat almost anything. As time passes, scar tissue and adhesions begin to develop, which means having to cut down on the insoluble fibre again because it causes pain and blockages. This has been the cycle of my life since 2007.

So, modifications have to be made, whether I’m cooking for myself or eating out.

Uncomfortable at restaurants

Like I said earlier, I don’t mind asking for the adaptations, but sometimes the staff can have a bit of a funny attitude about it (which always puts me off going to that place again). The people I tend to eat out with usually know I have IBD and a stoma, but they don’t really understand what that means in terms of food. How can they when it changes so frequently? Sometimes, I’m not even sure I know!

There might be times that I’m eating out and there’s someone new, a friends friend or a new partner for example. Then, I find myself very aware that this stranger might think I’m just being annoyingly picky.

Honestly, sometimes I find myself wanting to scream from the rooftops that if I’m asking for changes to a menu item, or taking an age to choose what to eat, it’s because I have dietary limitations. It’s not really a choice!

IBD restrictions are not a choice

I don’t choose to have a list of foods that cause me issues. I’m not being choosy, I am trying to look after myself! The worst-case scenario is a hospital admission because I have eaten something that I shouldn’t have, and the worst-case scenario whilst there is surgery! I’d really prefer to avoid that.

So, I just keep doing what I have to do and eating what I have to eat. Constantly annoyed that others think I’m just being “fussy."

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gypsycowgirl71 Member
Picky eater, not at all! I hear you. You need to take care of yourself. Or end up with a food hangover. No thank you! It's difficult for others to understand unless it's a food allergy. I've sometimes said, I ate earlier. Just to clear uncomfortable air. I try to find out the restaurant we're going to first to check the menu. I live in a state popular for heavy foods, fried foods or veggies. Neither agree with me. Difficult choices especially with an ostomy or ileostomy, never know output. That can turn bad quickly. You just remember end of day, take care of you. No food hangover is worth it! Happy you are able to get out and socialize. Imodium is a blessing at times or applesauce. Lol. Take care and be well.
1. Pam.Jajko Community Admin
 Thanks for these wonderful suggestions and reminders, <inline-mention username="gypsycowgirl71" user-id="2268163"/> ! Be well! - Pam (team member)
2. Sahara Fleetwood-Beresford Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="gypsycowgirl71" user-id="2268163"/> Yes, I always try to have a look at the menu before I go too! 😀 Plus, I always have my meds with me - for cramps, loose stool, and pain! ~ Sahara (Team member)
ejwithj-pouch Member
Sahara, You are so spot-on with how you describe these experiences. Food is so, so associated with socializing in most cultures. To be honest, I have completely given up on going out to eat with friends or family. I can be staring at a 5 page menu (online ahead-of-time) and not see one blessed thing I can safely consume. So I've tried to steer get togethers toward meeting mid-morning for tea/coffee (I am a wreck by mid-afternoon anyway) or an activity, like a hike or walk or a stroll through a park. You are definitely NOT being fussy! You are trying to avoid pain and suffering!! That is NOT being fussy. But you are correct, it is difficult-to-impossible for folks who have never directly experienced chronic, incurable illness to appreciate and respect that diet is one of our disabilities, one that requires tremendous energy to manage. It is ok that others don't understand. But it is not ok when respect and patience is not extended. Recognition, patience and respect tends to be extended more readily for visible disabilities. Not so much for our invisible disabilities. Namaste, Eunice
1. Sahara Fleetwood-Beresford Moderator & Contributor
 <inline-mention username="ejwithj-pouch" user-id="2241047"/> the invisible element of our diseases is definitely a sticking point! I am sorry to hear that you feel like you're unable to go out for meals these days but glad you found a workaround!! ~ Sahara (Team member)