Both Joy and Sorrow Are Meant to be Shared

As a person who is an Enneagram 2, who’s favorite book is “If You Feel Too Much” by Jamie Tworkowski, and who has Crohn’s disease, I find myself sitting with a lot of feelings and emotions on the regular.

In my younger days, this looked like confessing my deepest secrets, thoughts, and fears to people who may not have been in the same space or interested in sharing in that type of information with me. Over time, this transitioned. I started filling journals, writing blog entries and sharing across social media as the internet exploded, desperately seeking connections with other like-minded individuals. This growth came with both gratification and disappointment, and I learned so many lessons along the way.

Suffering through sadness and sickness

For a long time, I was just sick. I was just sad. And this was all I shared. The energy I put out into the world was either “feel bad for me” or “feel bad with me” and that’s a hard bullet to look back on now. Please don’t get me wrong, I understand that version of me. She was so miserable, and although the circumstances started out of her control, she got stuck in that place. She never had anything good to share. And her social circles, her friends and her family, it all suffered because of that.

Acknowledging both sadness and joy

In what was a painfully slow transition, my life changed my circumstances, and my circumstances changed my heart. I worked to share the joy and good news whenever it popped up, trying so hard to round out my feelings. I walked through a season of life that taught me without losses, you don’t really know the value of wins, and that life is both heavy and light but it only finds balance if you acknowledge both sides of the coin.

In the years since then, I have been lucky enough to live a lot of life, and I’ve chosen to do so out loud. I’ve chosen to share the things that bring joy to my life - mainly with pictures, stories, and snuggles of my cute pup and my 4-month-old daughter, but I’ve also continued to talk about the hard things I have experienced/continue to walk through including life with Crohn’s disease, mental health advocacy, and awareness, infertility, postpartum, breastfeeding and more, inviting people in during the highs and lows and even in the in-between.

Sharing both wins and losses with others

A friend recently pointed out to me how he was grateful that I have ended up in this space - as the kind of person to share both my wins and losses with others. This friend has known me for a very long time, since almost the beginning of my journey with Crohn’s disease, and together we reflected on how wanting to and being willing to share both the good and the bad takes friendship and sense of self to an entirely new level.

It’s been so interesting to recognize living in a space that feels balanced and well rounded after so many years of just feeling negative thoughts and emotions. I realize that the people I seek out and spend more time with are people who also share their full hearts - celebrating wins and mourning losses and helping others to see that life isn’t Instagram perfect or devastatingly awful all of the time. It’s both. It’s neither. It’s a balance.

Although I’m in a season of remission with my Crohn’s disease, I think this journey, and the idea of sharing both joy and sorrow with others is something that I’ll continue to reflect on and adapt as my health waxes and wanes. I’d be so interested to hear if you’ve experienced anything similar.