Re-Learning My Body
Years ago, I began to believe that once I learned my body, that was it! Besides the medications and surgeries, I just knew that once I learned what my body could and could not tolerate, that would be it. I would have cracked some unspoken Crohn’s code and be forever healthy. Accompanying my medications, checkups, etc of course.
Recently, I’ve come to realize, that is not quite so true. I thought once I learned my body, just once, that would be it. It was applied to the rest of my lifetime and I wouldn’t have to worry about the aches and pains I’d become so accustomed to. Here’s how I realized that wasn’t true.
Realizing changes in my body
Now, at 28 years old, my body doesn’t tolerate the same things it once did. My body has evolved. Not fully sure if I’d say for the better. But it has. The things I trained my mind to believe were once “safe” for me, are no longer that safe. The foods I once avoided have quickly become my go-to's.
As I approach 30, I have been overly invested in writing about aging with chronic illness. It may seem daunting or depressing, but truly, I think it’s interesting.
I think it’s so interesting the changes we experience, not only from our conditions, not only from life changes but from age as well. Although I of course realize it’s not always a good thing.
Aging with a chronic illness
The closer I get to the last year of my 20’s, the more harsh the reality hits. I don’t look at 30 as some others do and I don’t believe it to be the “be all, end all” others make it out to be, but physically? I feel a difference already.
So what’s a girl to do?
Re-learning my body's wants and needs
It’s time to re-invest in myself and my own wellbeing. I must return to the drawing board. Toss out what I thought I knew and start a new adventure. Time to re-learn my body. I was watching a show where a girl had surgery and decided to take herself on a date to get to know her new body.
Although her condition differs from my own, the concept remains. We must know ourselves and our bodies as we hope to know our partners. If it requires a little extra self-love and me-time, then so be it.
Determined to get to know my body
For the next year, I am determined to know my body. What it likes, what it doesn’t. Those with IBD probably know better than anyone else, what we like can vastly differ from what our bodies enjoy. So I am determined to learn this.
I hope to get back to a place where I am physically comfortable. I hope to be so comfortable and confident in my skin internally, that it reflects externally. Until then, I will be taking myself on all of the dates. Trying all of the foods, while engaging with my doctor along the way. My goal is to age with my body, not because of it.
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