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I Pooped in the Bushes of Disney World… Twice.

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By thedancingcrohnie

2 min read

I think the title says it all. Yes, it happened. The dreaded intensity of urgency hit me hard on my vacation to Disney World. There was no way around it. I had no choice but to poop in the bushes of Disney, not once, but twice.

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The great IBD enemy: coffee

I made the ultimate mistake of having coffee for breakfast. I never have coffee for breakfast. If I do crave a coffee, I save it for the afternoon and choose decaf. But no. This time around, I was overtaken by the delicious smell of freshly brewed coffee at the exquisite breakfast meal I found myself at. And I did the unthinkable.

I had half a cup of regular coffee. I figured I could handle it since I had been feeling better on my new medication. Goodness, was it amazing, though. I thoroughly enjoyed the coffee. 

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And then it strikes

I was having a great time and was excited for the day ahead at Magic Kingdom. And I was fine for the next hour and half. Until it hit me all of a sudden. The urge so intense that there were only a couple minutes of decision-making before an explosion was to occur.

Of course, this intense urgency hit me right as we parked the car in the enormous Disney parking lot. No bathrooms anywhere to be found. Just rows of cars. The parking lot is so colossal that you take a tram to get to another part of the park, where you then take the monorail to the park entrance. 

In other words, to get into the park it is a journey, and in that long journey there are no restrooms. My worst nightmare.

No bathrooms in sight

Here I am in the middle of the parking lot with the urge to go, and I immediately just start looking for a private area where I can pop a squat. It turned out there was a perfect spot. There was some construction being done nearby and I was able to find a great spot behind a fence.

It pays to be prepared. In my fanny pack I had wipes ready to go. To be honest, I was surprised with how seamless it all went. No one suspected a thing, and I can't tell you how relieved I felt.

Little did I know, that was just the first part of the fiasco.

Can we just get into Disney World already?

Onward we went, continuing the journey to get to Magic Kingdom. As we hit the second leg of the excursion to get onto the monorail I was bombarded with the intense urgency again.

Slightly panicked, I noticed there were zero bathrooms – again. I quickly searched for a private spot. I found some tall bushes away from the crowds and there I went for round 2.

With IBD, sometimes you just gotta laugh

All I could do was laugh. I could not believe I had to do this twice before even entering the park. 

My boyfriend was an angel and stood in front of me in watch. He was in a slight panic, which only made me giggle more. He was afraid I would get in trouble for indecent exposure – we were in Disney World, after all. But in the end, no arrests were made.

Have you ever had to pop a squat in a public place? Share your story, it's better to laugh together than cry!

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