I Am Grateful

I live in Australia and Bali is like our go-to place for quick, tropical, and CHEAP holidays.

Bali comes with risks though. Bali was until recently considered a third world country and, with that, the hygienic practices aren’t always a priority, which makes the risk of Bali Belly high. Bali belly is essentially what we experience with IBD - lots and lots of toilet trips.

It's very rare to get Bali Belly these days, though. Most places are perfectly clean and hygienic. I've been 3 times and never got it. Plus, it’s an amazingly relaxing holiday for very little money.

However, recently friends came back from Bali and during their trip, they were fine, until the day they arrived home. Their 2 children got it bad.

She was telling me how her poor daughter was waking through the night every 2 hours and was crying that her bottom hurt and how her son had pooped his pants accidentally.

It made me feel pains in ways that I never want to feel EVER again!!

Reflecting on my ostomy

I have an ostomy and have had it for the last 12 years. It has been permanent the whole time so, as you can imagine, I just don’t even remember what having a bum hole is like anymore! But I'd never want to go back to it.

Often when you tell people that you have an ostomy and have had your rectum removed, there’s a lot of questions. A lot.

They want to know what you can feel and what you miss. I’ve been asked so many times if I miss pooing and farting! No way man!

I have self-proclaimed "Post Traumatic Butt Syndrome"! Anything related to having a butt was traumatic.

I, in no way and no how, miss having an anus and, to be honest, you couldn’t, possibly pay me all the money in the world to get it back.

I am not even joking. I would not accept all the money to live life like that.

The trauma that my body has been through has taken its toll on me emotionally and physically and I will forever be grateful and even proud of myself for going through the surgery.

On the small occasion, I’ll admit a fraction of envy for those who are able to get reversals through a jpouch but it’s generally aimed at UC than the reversal. I would, by no means, swap or take it from them, but envy the ability to have a cure for this debilitating disease.

I am grateful though. I’m grateful for the fact that I am lucky enough to stay in surgical remission, to not have to worry so much about pooping my pants and even when I’m having a bad bowel day, I don’t experience THE RING OF FIRE anymore!!

Hey, it’s the small blessings!