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Having a F- It Mentality

Having a F- It Mentality

Like many people, I have always been someone who cared what other people thought. I do think being diagnosed with inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) at the age of 13 has made me super sensitive to things. Meaning, because I have always been so focused on certain aspects of my body and life, I assume other people have their eyes peeled on me too. While it has taken me some time to realize everyone has their own issues and most could care less about my sensitivities, this topic is still a difficult one for me to shake.

Adopting a new attitude

I have a brother who I am very close to and whom I admire an enormous amount. Not only is he a wonderful human being and man, but he is who he is and doesn’t apologize for it. He makes his own schedule, does his own thing, and truly doesn’t care what anyone thinks. Spending more time with him has made me want to do my best to adopt a similar attitude. I kind of call it the “F it” mentality. Meaning, I do what is best for me and ignore any judgment that may come my way.

Living with a chronic illness like Crohn’s Disease or ulcerative colitis can wreak havoc on our emotional health in so many ways. It can cause us not to trust ourselves because we aren’t taken seriously sometimes. Living with a severe illness can cause feelings of inferiority. For me personally, not being able to have a full-time job where I support myself makes me feel like a worthless person sometimes. While I know that isn’t really the case, internally, I still feel like I am not good enough. Or, I should be better. And while I strive every day to be the best person I can be, I do fall short a lot which greatly upsets me.

The guilt

I know a lot of you reading this also struggle with some of these feelings. There is also the guilt that comes with relying on others or needing to ask for help. Because I do rely on my family a lot, I feel like I owe them an explanation for some of my decisions. As a grown woman, that mentality is very difficult for me to swallow.

After spending some time with my family a little while ago, I finally managed to have the mentality of “I am going to act how I would at home and if anyone has an issue with it that it is their problem, not mine.” I kept trying to reinforce in my mind that I am not doing anything wrong and I am an adult who has the right to do or not do whatever I feel is best for me. And, like my brother, I don’t have to apologize for being the person I am.

The mentality is freeing

I wanted to bring this up because even though I have only had this mentality for a short time, I have been finding it pretty freeing. I can’t say I am completely there yet…definitely have a ways to go before I truly don’t care what others think…but I am making progress. I am slowly learning that I am okay just the way I am. I may live my life differently than others might hope or want but at the end of the day, I am who I am for a reason.

….and so are you!

Remember that being diagnosed with a chronic illness like inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) might change some core things about you. It might alter your path in life. It may change things you thought would never be altered. These adjustments that are forced upon you may make you angry and frustrated. I get it. But, don’t allow the circumstances that have changed you to make you feel like you are anything less than a magnificent person who is doing his/her best.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • Amanda Osowski moderator
    10 months ago

    Love this post so much, M.

    Refreshing honesty on something I imagine many can relate to.

    Amanda (team member)

  • thedancingcrohnie moderator
    10 months ago

    Well said!

    I can so relate to your situation. Relying on family members and spouses for basically everything can be a hard pill to swallow as an adult. But, as you say, we are trying our best and we are magnificent in doing so!

    Always dancing,
    Elizabeth (team member)

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