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General Discussion

Keyboard Therapy

  • By isabellieb97

    Okay, I’ve been ghosting through this site for awhile now so I feel like it’s time to get involved–you guys and gals (and everyone in between) are my people!! Why shouldn’t I learn a few names and make myself at home?

    Since this is the “Coping with Crohn’s” forum, I thought I’d share my favorite way of coping: venting. Keyboard therapy. Let’s be honest: if you (a person with Crohn’s or UC) vent to another person (who does not have Crohn’s or UC), you’ll probably overwhelm them–to be fair, most of us were also overwhelmed when we heard about Crohn’s or UC–so I wanted to create a space for venting. We read all these articles about how we’re so brave and while that’s true some days over others, we’re also people, and people shouldn’t be expected to always swallow their feelings and act like everything is okay when sometimes it’s really not.

    I want this thread to be accepting of all rants/vents/emotional throwups that have to do with Crohn’s and UC. There’s no way to compare someone else’s experience with your own, and vice versa, so I believe we should all do our best to support one another. If you want to ask for advice that’s related to your rant, that’s completely okay–but I don’t think we should assume that other people want advice. I can’t even count how many times I’ve been given advice that I didn’t ask for–I think we all have! Sometimes all you need is some acknowledgement that someone else knows and understands what you’re going through.

    Got something on your mind that’s been bugging you? It’s better to get it out than hold it in… 🙂

  • By isabellieb97

    Just to get the ball rolling, I’ll post my own vent to start.

    I love my family. I do. But what I don’t love is being talked over and around and about and behind! I am The Hot Topic when the food comes out (“She can’t have those because she has IBD, it’s when… blah, blah, blah”). I’ll be honest and say that I love attention, but it makes me uncomfortable when my parents share my information like it’s theirs to share, when I’m not even comfortable sharing it on my own. I know it shouldn’t be a huge deal because it’s part of who I am like a birthmark, but I haven’t had that much time to make it my own–it’s still this weird part of my body that I’m okay with hiding.

    And then there’s the other half of it, after they tell people I have it! Everyone starts to ask, “Can you have that?” “Is this okay for you?” Like, I’ve got it! I know what I’m doing! I know they’re trying to help, I do, but I don’t like asking for help and I never asked in the first place. And it’s especially frustrating when they point out that I shouldn’t have something, but I know that the food works for me. I have to explain that–while it might not be good for others with Crohn’s or UC–it’s okay for me. Like I have to justify my own choices. And the worst people are the ones that do it over and over again, as if they’re concerned for me but not concerned enough to listen when I explain how IBD is different for everyone.

  • By Brooke Abbott Moderator

    Hi Isabellie97,

    I think I speak for every other patient when I say, I know this all too well. It’s going to take your family sometime to understand and to trust that you know what you’re talking about. Just continue to progressively educate yourself so that you can educate them. Lack of education and awareness helps perpetuate the myths & arguments that non patients have about IBD. Be patient, but continue to find the strength to be heard. The good thing is you know that their help is coming from a place of love and concern.

    ( Team Member)