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parental blame on untreated crohn's

Hi all, I hope everyone's feeling fine.
I have been diagnosed with Crohn's disease at 17 after suffering for 4 months from symptoms. I've recently started feeling resentment towards my parents for ignoring my symptoms for a few months. I had asked to see a doctor so many times, and they minimized the issue and claimed I needed to make changes to my diet (which I already did). I've been blaming them for making me have a bleaker diagnosis. Had they listened to me and taken me to a doctor earlier, I would be diagnosed with a much less severe case.
Have any of you experienced this? How do I forgive and move on? I know they had good intentions, and I know that God made this happen for a good reason. But how can I let go and stop looking back?

  1. I think you’re angry and frustrated with having this new diagnosis, which we all go thru, but it’s not healthy to place blame , you will need a strong support system in your life so speak to them about it, then move forward! You don’t need any added stress or anger. You’re old enough to start educating yourself about this disease and all the wonderful complications, symptoms, treatments, & procedures that accompany it! I was left untreated for 1.5 years!!!! I wasn’t diagnosed until I had appendicitis and the surgeon looked at my bowels! You will learn a lot about yourself, like how much inner strength and courage you have! Try and find coping methods that work best for you, Incase you have some difficult days ahead…it’s so much easier to be positive and to learn & grow through each hurdle! You will become a better person for it! Stay strong! Remember you’re not alone!

    1. Thank you for sharing, @jochebed. My heart goes out to you for all that you have had to endure and your thoughts are justifiable, however, harboring resentment and anger not only affects your mental health, but your physical health, as well. Have you expressed how you are feeling to them? Do they acknowledge that there could have been different outcomes from other decisions?
      It is common in the IBD community to go without a proper diagnosis for a long time so you certainly are not alone. And, while diagnosing it sooner may have helped your symptoms, that doesn't mean that there isn't hope for a better tomorrow.
      I was diagnosed very early on, took action, and still had terrible flares for years until I went into remission. So, in the case of this disease, your past doesn't always determine your future, for better or for worse. I hope you find peace in taking it one step at a time and just looking towards the future rather than in the past. Stay well.
      --Julie (Team Member)

      1. I honestly think it just takes time. Holding onto such negativity and resentment only really causes YOU stress. Stress is one of those things that many people identify as a trigger for their IBD.
        There really is no way of knowing how your IBD might have been different if you'd gone a little sooner. We all have a bunch of "what ifs", but we cannot dwell on them.
        ~ Sahara (Team member)

        1. I appreciate everybody's responses. I did speak to my parents but it didn't help much. Now I'm ready to move on. And its really not worth it to remain in this state. So thank you all for your input.

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